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An interesting stranger is seen doing mixed work in the United Universes, and upon searching for clues, the heroes discover that it is, in fact, an enthusiastic multi-task and former investigative combat journalist, Freetrader, detective, and 'everythingish' in the form of a Luckiry named Saetha, whose species is known in the AUU to be mythical beings of adventure, good luck and fortune, and she spent her entire life since a toddler looking at interesting things, and thus spent her entire life taking interest in whatever is, well, interesting. She has been at this for so long, she ends up discovering that the Original UUniverses is actually far more interesting and mysterious, and thus wishes to live there, even if she has to cope with the dimensions' cartoon-based physical laws which she starts to slowly sink into, and is considering taking as much legal action as possible to make it happen, even if it's a threat who seeks to exploit her through them as revenge against her monster boyfriend by the name of Coffee.

Scenes

Meeting Saetha

Spatial Magic Zone

  • Saetha:... (They entered via her dimensional scissors)... Here we are. Home sweet home.
  • Icky:... Sweet buttery Jesus, your home, IS IN, (Brings out Portal 2 Space Core)
  • Space Core: SPAAAAAAAAAAAACE?!
  • Icky sends Space Core back to the Portal universe via the iconic portal gun.
  • Saetha: Well, not exactly TRUE space. It's a pocket of quantum energy that allows for a habitable home. This IS the system of Mewni.
  • Tigress: Not going to lie, out of all the views I had seen, this is amongst the most impressive.
  • Saetha: Oh, after all I've seen, you haven't seen anything yet.
  • Sparx: You know, I gotta ask, of all places, why the same place as Star vs. The Forces of Evil? I kinda figured this place's constint problems with inter-dimentional threats would not be a good home for an AUUian.
  • Saetha: Well, it IS the place I went to when I came to your dimension. Thanks to the famous Star Butterfly and Marco Diaz, who sadly went missing since defeating Meteora and learning Star's entire royal lineage was a lie originating from monster prejudice, Mewni has started to adopt more Earthly things.
  • Ralth: Oy! Another world of prejudice. Hoopty-damn-doo! As if we haven't had enough of those.
  • Fu-Xi: Make no mistake, my fellow snake. Prejudice is everywhere. You'll have to deal with it, EVEN IF IT GETS YOUR FAMILY KILLED?! (Breaths in to struggle against crying for it)..... You just, need to surpress it like a bad memory, or learning that something that sounds like a dude and looks like one, is actselly a woman.
  • Ralth: (Sarcastically) Gee, that's very helpful!
  • Fu-Xi: "Careful, I'm no stranger to sarcasum... Or blantent disrespect."
  • Ralth:... Maybe we shouldn't have brought him along.
  • Icky: "Sorry, he kinda tagged along with us after a mission involving some snake-hating Oxes were trying to help his old enemy put togather a new snake-hate group. We inadvertingly brought the guy along when we heard about ya, and that also because this was meant to be a season 4 episode being moved up to season 3 because MSM wanted to balence-out the mass-MLP episodes based on the on-going inspiriation madness of MLP:FIM Season 8! I'd explain more, but that be spoiler terratory."
  • Ralth: "Well he didn't had to be a depressing spazz about it!"
  • Viper: Well, he's still a hero to snakes and I have to agree with him.
  • Gilda: You know, your opinion about him technically doesn't matter if you support him too much. He still has a shit-ton lot of redemption to do. Like, having to defeat a giant anichent evil that threatens many worlds levels of redemption.
  • Deadpool's voice: "Fore-SHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!"
  • Icky: "DEADPOOL, GET THE FUCK OUT, WE'RE STILL WORKING ON MAKING UP FOR THE BABE PROMISE, OKAY?!"
  • Saetha: Well, since imprisoning monsters here have been banned by Queen Eclipsa, monsters here, or at least those who didn't leave this dimension because of prejudice, have just as much time to redeem themselves. Heck, I fell in love with one.
  • ???: Ohhh, SAE-SAE!!
  • Saetha: Speaking of which. (A dragon-lion monster appears)
  • Monster: I got a surprise for you-.... Who in Lucitor's underworld are these guys?
  • Saetha: Visitors who are questioning me about my interdimensional story.
  • Monster: STALKERS!! (Gets in front of her) BACK OFF, DIRTBAGS!!!
  • Fu-Xi: "You do realise your calling the famous Shell Lougers, "Dirtbags", right?"
  • Monster: "Wait wait wait.... You're THOSE guys?!... Honestly, I figured you guys' be more impressive looking then what you are now, since you fought these "Darkspawn" monsters I heard alot about."
  • Icky: "Join the club, they got jackets. Your not the first wiseguy to be unimpressed with us."
  • Monster: "Aw come on, if your bad-mouthing me because of the dirtbag comment, then sorry! I just assume you were another collection of Popperazzi or nosy interviewers for media outlets, or tec corperate hacks that salvabate at the idea of getting ahold of the AUU's tec stuff."
  • Fu-Xi: "Mistaking us for overtly curious fools is no excuse for disrespect, beast!"
  • Viper: "Uh, please mind Fu-Xi, he's more of a ally then a true member."
  • Monster: "To be fair, as said before, I figured you guys would be more like the Grovairian War Heroes in size and stature! Not a bunch of cartoony misfits!"
  • Icky: "Well EXCUUUUUUUUUUUSE US, PRINCESS, that we're not a bunch of, whatever you just said, and that we're not always the steriotypical fantasised heroes! Though Gazelle comes rediculiously close at times."
  • Monster: ".... Yeesh. Okay, I know I didn't exactly treated you guys fairly before, BUT YA DIDN'T HAVE TO BE DICKS ABOUT IT?!"
  • Saetha: ANEWAS, CALM DOWN! You need to be more cortious to the Lougers! They rescued my home dimension hundreds of times.
  • Monster (Anewas): And I know that now, it's just, because of how unimpressive they look, I only got the wrong idea, okay! I mean, why would any hero care about some immigrent from a troubled alternate dimention they saved from a dark and terrorable dystopian rule- Annnnnnnnnnnnnd I just answered my own question like a dumbass. Look, if you guys assumed she's a threat of some form, trust me, she wouldn't even harm a Hidiosmar Fly! And everyone wants to hurt THEM!
  • Lord Shen: "Oh don't be alarmed. We didn't seek her out because of lack of trust, NOR anything you assusiated with those with no ability of minding their business. We merely wanted to see her reasoning to come here and make sure she wasn't here because of a new threat or because she was troubled in some way."
  • Anewas: "And you assusiate her coming here because of her having a problem, why?"
  • Iago: "Trust us mac, her native United Universes, it's a mess over there. Mistakes and villains are so constent, it was why that dystopia existed in the first place! We are only asking her about it to try and make sure her coming here is harmless AND NOT BECAUSE ANOTHER ALL-POWERFUL THREAT IS BORNED?!"
  • Anewas: "Tch, WELL PARDON ME FOR ONLY PROTECTING MY GIRL FROM STRANGERS?! She didn't exactly told me she was gonna bring guests today, okay?! Ya don't need to be ASSHOLES about it! (Leaves angerly)."
  • Squidward:... And this guy's your boyfriend?
  • Saetha: Anewas can be rather... Possessive. Mewnian monsters are usually hard to understand if you don't get to know them. Didn't help that jerks like Toffie make that trust difficult.
  • Anewas: SAE!! (Comes came cartoonishly quick) We agreed never to say his name! He betrayed monster safety and his brother walked out on it!
  • Icky: Whoa, time the f*** out, buddy! The lizard guy, who almost killed Star, had a brother?
  • Iago: You watched the show?
  • Icky: With many others, yeah.
  • Anewas: You didn't knew that? I, assume that was commen knowledge.
  • Lord Shen: "Well maybe in your dimentions, but our knowledge of him is limited to show canon. As far as we figured, Toff- (Anewas cleared his throat)..... Right, he you don't want to be named, appeared to be an only child sort."
  •  Anewas: Well FYI, he, DOES, have a brother. Though in all fairness, now-a-days, people WISHED that "Only-Child" stuff really was the case! He was my best friend, too. He wanted to retaliate with Toffee's defeat to Queen Moon through war, which was a risk too great for me to keep my promise to help him avenge the loss of his family. I wasn't going to just jump into a war against Mewmans! So I had to do what I had to do. I had Coffee exiled for his intentions.
  • Banzai: (Scoffs) That's seriously his name? Coffee? And I thought Scroopfan was the master of rediculious names!
  • Anewas: I know, I know, those two were netourious for those names. Both brothers have been mocked for such names.... Anyway, I left too, because I couldn't bare to be with the Monster Army after I had to betray a friend to protect monsters everywhere.... Years later, I met Sae-Sae.
  • Saetha: I for one was concerned Coffee would want revenge, especially since he wasn't anywhere on Mewni. And we can't find him with my scissors without knowing where he is.
  • Lord Shen: "... Well, then it was good we went to ask you, Miss Saetha, for we indeed found our would-be threat."
  • Anewas: "Wait a minute, you guys said you were here to look out for threats from HER universe, there was nothing about that was said about anything that was from my dimention!"
  • Lord Shen: "By all means, yes, any threat from the AUU was a prioritised concern, but we won't shy away from anything more, native to these universes, or even something of your dimentions for that matter. Let's be honest, Anewas, Coffee would likely be rather resentful of you for not supporting him. A man hungry for any correction of injustice done apawn him, don't believe in uncrossable bounderies. What you did, only served to make you a target as well."
  • Anewas: "Look, I knew Coffie well enough that he would not be so petty as to do that to me! If anything, he would be more dangerious to Star's home kingdom then anything else."
  • Icky: "Yeaaah, but, you kinda betrayed the guy that wanted to make that happen. You crippled the dude's ability to even be a minor threat to the place. He's not gonna let you move away from that just because you were a pal to him. Heck, even Sae's nervious about him."
  • Anewas: "Look, Coff's different from his brother, he would not be so resentful."
  • Gazelle: "Are you really willing to put blind fate on the brother of a man you don't particularly like?"
  • Anewas: "Hey, I know your trying to make me sound stupid for not thinking Coffie's dangerious, but trust me, Coffie and his bro did not have the greatest brotherhood! They don't agree to everything! That's why I don't think Coff's any real threat here. He wouldn't do things his brother would've done."
  • Icky: "Now, by all means, we get that it's one thing for the guy to be a carbon copy of his bro, we get that. But it's another to not expect trouble from him to say something like that. In fact, Facilier, had a half-brother that used to be an entirely different man from Facilier. But thanks to what occured with the revelation of the Princess and the Frog movie, the guy went down a dark path because of people mistaking him as Facilier."
  • Anewas: "Okay, look! You need to keep in mind that all Coffie wanted was justice for monsters! He wouldn't dare bring harm to a fellow monster, nor anything that monster cares about, just because of something as petty as a falling out."
  • Gilda: "Then riddle me this, bud. Would your girlfriend be so afraid of him if he wasn't a problem?"
  • Anewas: "She was once afraid that the Ring Girl from a about a cursed video tape was gonna climb out of the TV when she saw those ring movies! Or just recently, that the Indoraptor was gonna break into her bedroom and eat her! She can become afraid of alot of imitating things!"
  • Sandy: "Okay, cowboy. If you're so dang confident that Coffee's a good hombre, then try to remember why you turned on him to begin with."
  • Anewas: I HAD to! He was talking about war! After what Queen Moon did to Toffee's finger, even his army didn't want to attack. Monsters have been smart enough to never go to war unless they had no choice ever since, especially since events like Mewnipendence Day. Star DID try to make peace between us and we monsters love her for being a free-spirit just like us.
  • Saetha: She even dates a monster herself, even if it's clear that maybe Marco's the most promising candidate for her. The two have remarkable chemistry, and Marco's been hinted to go through the same hardships as Star when he was still with that Jackie chick since the two breaking up drove him to live in Mewni. He just wants the feelings to go away by pretending they aren't there.
  • Icky: Well at least as far as Starco fans are concerned.
  • Mushu: Guy, are we really discussing the show here? This is about Saetha and how she might be targeted by this Coffee bastard.
  • Anewas: Even if I did break my promise to him, he wouldn't just want vengeance on me like that, that just wouldn't be like him. I mean.... What would he have to gain from it? He would still be an outcast.
  • Shifu: This is infomation that is in need of being learned. But wherever he is and whatever he's planning, we'll be ready.
  • Anewas: "I just have my doubts, okay? Coffee may not had been a saint, but he's not as bad as his brother. Just, trust my word on this."

Meet Coffee

Villain League Castle (After a typical leager scene)

  • Mirage: Who is this guy? Why is he causing such a ruckus?!
  • Cobra: Not sure, but his skills are impeccable!!
  • Dracula: He looks like that old Toffee guy from the world of Mewni.
  • Voort: Could he be related?
  • Dracula: How should I know?
  • Plankton: Uh... Guys? He's hacked into our henchmen communication grid!
  • Mirage: Open the channel and locate the communicator he's using.
  • (???): (Will Arnett voice) Villain League! I would like to talk because I have an offer you can't refuse!
  • Plankton: "Aw no, not another one of those big promises guys that end up dragging us into situations we didn't needed to get involved with!"
  • Galaxhar: "Or just as much, a Jevhovah's Witness."
  • Clayton: "In which case, (SCREAMS) WE ARE NOT INTERESTED?! WE ALREADY GET ACCUSED AS A DEMON WORSHIPPING CULT AS IT IS, WE'RE NOT INTERESTED IN HYPERISED CHRISTAINS?!"
  • (???): "..... Wha, duh...... Nonononononono! I am not that! I am trying to bring to your attention, that a being from an alternate universe is within your rea-"
  • Cobra: "STOP STOP STOP! No, we are NOT messing around with the AUUers! The last several intentses of tampering with those beings ended MISERABLY BAD?!"
  • Dr. Blowhole: "I mean, by all means, their hyper-futuristic tec's very nice, but it's alas, a risk not worth taking. That alternate universe is so unwilling to accept villains there! And we do NOT wish to incure the wrath of the HA for it!"
  • Junjie: "NOT EVEN I WAS ABLE TO SUCCESSFULLY CREATE A PLAN WITH THAT UNIVERSE?! I still feel the pain that basturd monkey Croker inflicted on me with his electric spear! Still glad he's long fired?!"
  • (???): "But what if I say that it's a rare and powerful spieces, that-"
  • Mirage: "DON'T CARE?! Messing with the AUUians are not worth it?!"
  • (???): "What?! Your passing up a golden oppertunity here-"
  • Cobra: "Good sir, I don't care if this AUUian is the deciple of that alternate universeal jesus thing they have going on there, we are NOT going to tamper with an AUUain?! So kindly get OFF of our transmission, and GOOD DAY TO YOU, SIR?!"
  • (???): "..... Tch. Some villains you guys are. (Disconnects)."
  • Mirage: "And good riddence to troublesome rubbish."
  • Hades: "Good call rejecting that guy, guys. Much as those skills are not too shabby, nothing's worth messing with AUUians."
  • Junjie: "Oh beleive me. Extreme as I am, not even I would tamper with them again unless I can EVER feel like I can get away with it!"
  • Cobra: "AND MAY YOU HOPE THAT NEVER COMES, YOU MEDDLESOME FOX?!"
  • Mirage: Now let's throw that lizard out.
  • (Shocktrooper): Uh, guys?... He was speaking on the communicator... with ANOTHER communicator- (They were heard being beaten up)
  • Hades: What- Does this guy even take no for an answer?!
  • Junjie: Apparently not! (The lizard figure burst in from the roof) YAAAH!!!
  • Lizard Figure: I will not be ignored because of your bad previous experiences. I know you won't say no when you hear how different and fulfilling this plan is.
  • Cobra: "WHAT PART OF NO, DO YOU NOT, UNDERSTAND?! (Teleports The Lizard Figure away, far away from the leage base)..... There we go, problem solved."
  • Lizard Figure: (He came back by using a stolen magic crystal)
  • Cobra: Aw c'mon!
  • Lizard Figure: That was the first thing I'd expect you to do. Lucky I have this Mewnian magic crystal fresh from the Realm of Magic. But luck IS the main promise I have here.
  • Gaspar:... Go on-
  • Mack Salmon: DO NOT GO ON!! I TOLD YOUR STUPID LIZARD TAIL THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS GOOD OR BAD LUCK!!! SOMEONE PLEASE GET THIS S***N STAIN OUT OF HERE?!?
  • Lizard Figure: "Oh why are you people being stubbern about this?!"
  • Cobra: "Well in case you went into a stuper about what Junjie referenced, (Quietly) Which honestly, I won't blame you, (Openly), Any plans that involved the AUU NEVER ends well! Not to mention that the few times we or anyone else did so, IT ALWAYS END IN PAIN?! So go ahead and bring up how "Special" this particular one is! Cause as I said, SHE COULD BE THE DECIPLE OF THE AUU'S OWN TAKE ON JESUS, AND I WOULD CARE FOR IT AS MUCH AS I WOULD CARE TO HAVE CANCER?! SO, JUST, BEAT IT?!"
  • Lizard Figure: ".... Ughhhh. And you people came so highly recimended. (Finally leaves seriously)....."
  • Cobra: ".... Ughhhh..... And good riddence."
  • Tai Lung: "Thank goodness. No AUU-related pain for us."
  • Jafar: "Well, as much as I am abit curious on what he was droning on about this "luck" nonsense, perhaps it's for the best we don't assusiate with him. He had an aura not too disimular to that Toffie guy. For all we know, he was only trying to tempt us into this so he can claim this person himself, and that we would've only been brought along because he wants to make the capture easy for himself."
  • Mirage: "Well we will not be used to cheese through some lesser nobody's plans for some random AUUian we don't give a shit about! Now, let's all go back to do our own thing."
  • Coffee: (Watching through binoculars)... I know I came prepared to see how phathic villains here are, but this? If the prime villain team is like this, then I don't know what second best or the 3rd rate are like.... Ughhh, perhaps I shouldn't even bother with the other two, and just settle this, myself. (Using dimensional scissors, he leaves)

Mugshotra

  • Coffee: (He arrives at the Villains Channel HQ)...
  • Receptionist: (Getting off iPad game) Hello, sir, please take a seat and I'll be right with you.
  • Coffee:... There's nobody else here and you look like you've got nothing else to do, so you don't seen busy enough to have me wait. I would like to see your evil bounty news broadcasting station.
  • Receptionist: "(Looks with a face of "I am NOT in the mood for your shit right now", and presses a security button.)"
  • Coffee: "Oh come now, do we really need to go through this- (Stomps are heard, as a trained Rancor Security guard came out and roared!)......... Oh, nice guardian monster you have there."

Outside of Villain Channel HQ.

  • Coffie was tossed quickly outside as he flew across the air, folding his arms.
  • Coffee: "(Sighs), Something tells me that evil in this dimention, has no sense of community spirit. (Crashes right into a dumpster)..... I suppose I'll have to get the attention of bounty hunters in more, localised means. (Uses the magic crystal to create a reward poster for Saetha and a good luck potion for eternal competence in villainy)... (Also writes "And before you say it, it's not a con scam." and casts a visionary spell on it before scissoring away)"
  • A rat janitor came up whisleing, who was noticingly blind and was seen tapping the ground from garbage and using smell to location, and found the poster, which cause he can't see it, it doesn't effect as he stabbed the poster with his pick-up stick and stuffed it in the garbage and walks on away as the poster magically cloned itself from inside the unnoticing blind rat's bag.
  • Coffee:... Now to wait.

A Bar in Muggshotra.

  • A sign on it read "The Beer Bounty", as rough music played as a vast collection of Bounty Hunters are seen in the bar.
Motörhead - You Better Swim

Motörhead - You Better Swim

  • A fish alien was seen poking the knife repeatedly at where a bigger alien hand was place as he was getting faster and faster as the other aliens looked on.
  • An Alien from Scroop's Spieces was seen wearing a Cad Bane sytile outfit was seen resting on his table with his hat covering his eyes.
  • A Grizzly Bear wearing a tecno-spandex with a hammer and sickle was seen, along with a russian dance hat, enjoying a large jug of vodka.
  • An Asian Person Sized Dragon was seen in a meditive stance, under a spell of zen that tunes out the music.
  • Well-dressed suited bounty hunter triplets are seen being quiet, wearing Sunglasses and drinking.
  • A reptilian humanoid was seen surrounded by pet reptiles.
  • A Spider woman had managed to catch a buzzing fly to eat it.
  • A knife obcesser was seen cleaning his knifed teeth with a knife like a toothpick.
  • A multi-limbed arabian sword weilder alien was seen sitting down with arms at full display.
  • A hyena with hellhound traits was seen chackling about as he walked across the room.
  • A toxic waste beast was seen having a radioactive jacuzzi.
  • A Sythe-handed maniac in a reaper-like costume was seen cutting up a ham.
  • An Alien of Gantu's race seen crushing random skulls.
  • A Large Monkey alien with machinical hands was seen cheating at darts with his grabbling hook fingers and hitting the target every time.
  • An overcoat wearing raptorial creature was seen eating a raw steak.
  • The Blind rat arrived as he was still proding at nothing, coming in under the saloon doors.
  • The Fish Alien had stabbed the Larger alien in the hand after going fast enough, as the large alien screamed!
  • Fish Alien: "...... Pay up, sucker."
  • A weaker alien was forced to pay, to only then be punched.
  • Stinkweed Alien: "..... Hey boss.... Look. (Points to the Blind Rat). It's the blind junkrat again."
  • Fish Alien: ".... Tch. So it is."
  • The Blind rat was still proding at nothing, as a tenticled alien tripped the blind rat and made him lose his garbage payload, with the multiplying posters in it, as the patrons, minus the scary serious ones or those that just don't care, started to laugh!
  • Apawn the bag getting caught in the cealing fan, it began to spin around as it's contents and the now many posters are flying around the room, surprising the bounty hunters.....
  • One such poster landed where the Cad Bane Scroop-alien was, who reflexfully caught it as he started to growl.
  • The Angry Awaken Scroop Bounty Hunter, got up, getting the Bounty Hunters attention.
  • The Fish Alien: ".... Aw shit..... Scoundrel Taint's awake."
  • Scoundrel Taint: "..... (Cad Bane voice) Would someone like to tell me who's the jackass that made a mess of the place?"
  • The Patrons quickly pointed to the blind rat, who was trying to get up.
  • Scoundrel Taint hissed softly, as he got up to the blind rat, and picked him up.
  • Scoundrel Taint: "Do I need to report your incompidence to your superior, junk rat? Or would you rather start cleaning up (Holds up the poster) THIS mess you made, and-..... Wait a minute.... (Drops the Janitor to look at the poster)..... What have we here?"
  • The Other Patrons began looking up the posters as well.
  • Steam Punk Crab: "..... Is that, an AUUian?"
  • Lazer-Tooth Walrus: "The hell's a, "Luck-a-Kury"."
  • Biker Chick Horse: "Luck potion?"
  • Redneck Alien: "(Southern-tone) EEEEE-Turn-NAAAAAAAL Cooooom-Peeeeeee-Duuuuuuunce. That's a weird way to spell money."
  • Hog Alien: "That's because there is no money around this bitch. What good would hunting down an AUUian cunt and risking HA irate, if there is no money promised!? No wonder it was in the junk rat's bag! It's a worthless bounty offer!"
  • Scoundrel: "(Just as the Bounty Hunters were about to ditch the posters) Hold up, gentlemen...... And various ladies. We don't nessersarly need to do this for the money directly. Nor do we nessersarly need that potion for ourselves. We can take the potion to a sciencetist in Muggshotra, mass-produce it, and sell it on the Villain Market for millions! The Potion itself, WILL GET US OUR MONEY?! (The Patrons began to like the idea) And frankly, it seems to be centered around this woman. Now, the reason for why the poster's original placer has it out on the AUUian, is unknown.... But who are we Bounty Hunters to really question anything? Fact of the matter is, she could turn out to be as sweet as Snow White, and it would not save her from the WEALTH the potion is worth! Bounty Hunters?! We have a FORTUNE TO MAKE?!"
  • The Bounty Hunters shouted in cheer as they ran out of the bar, leaving the blinded rat confused and trying to prod at things again.
  • A viewing portal was seen as Coffee watched....
  • Coffee: "Well, at least I got their attendence on virtue that they would waste the potion's potaintional to sell it off.... But then again, they were bounty hunters, who are netourious diggers for gold and wealth, so am I honestly so surprised? Which means I only need to share enough to make their silly greed-motivated plan work, and that I don't have to share the potion TOO greatly."

Villain League Castle

  • Teen Mang: Uhhh... Daddy? Remember that lizard guy who attacked the lair a while ago?
  • Cobra: That Toffee look-alike, yeah?
  • Teen Mang: Heeee... Kinda managed to bring his offer out as a bounty. (Shows the flier)...
  • Cobra:... A reward for a good luck potion that... Makes you eternally competent?... Well, as much merit it has, I still say no.
  • Teen Mang: You sure? A potion to make us better villains sounds like something stupid to pass up.
  • Cobra: No, TM! That would involve messing about with an AUUniversal, and that is a risk proven TOO great to consider. Remember what almost happened to you last time we tried to deal with them? (Thinsg tried to flashback, but Teen Mang shooed it away)
  • Teen Mang: Offscreen things don't matter. A potion that offers competence? How can you say no to that?!
  • Cobra: Just did. And I'll say it again...
Nostalgia Critic NO!

Nostalgia Critic NO!

  • Teen Mang: Okay okay! (Throws the poster away) Sorry for bringing it back up! Sheesh.
  • Cobra: "Good. Now, let us never talk about this, again."
  • Junjie: (Comes in) Did I hear something about a competence potion? Because if you want MY opinion--
  • Cobra: YOUR OPINION DOESN'T MATTER, P*** OFF!! (Blasts Junjie with his magic)... Blasted fox!

Scougre Imperial Base

  • Meng Tao: SIR! I have urgent news!
  • Dark Dragon: It better be GOOD urgent news!
  • Meng Tao: Well... It's an offer, and one not exactly easy to say yes to. (Shows him the flier)
  • Dark Dragon:... An AUU resident... Is living here... And a capture is offering... A competence potion?... Tch, as if to assume we aren't compident?! Well, you weren't wrong, this isn't easy to accept. Anything involving that dimension isn't good for any of the three villain teams, not even us alone. But, then again.... A potion that makes you more successful?...
  • Krekka: Sir, are you sure it's a good idea?
  • Dark Dragon: F*** no, this is a terrible idea! It's never a good idea when the AUU is involved.
  • Nidhiki: Well, we are the least active villain team. We hardly do ANY major villain work.
  • Dark Dragon: "I mean, in one hand, it would be nice to use this on the select number of idiots we have here..... I'M LOOKING AT YOU, KREKKA?!"
  • Krekka: "(Mimicing Nappa mimicing Fonzy) Ehhhh."
  • Dark Dragon: "But in the other, THAT WOULD MEAN RISKING A POTSHOT FROM THOSE HA HEROES?! AND I AM STILL FEELING THAT GOLDEN SWORD FROM THAT TIME WE TRIED TO ESTABLISHED A CONGURED WORLD THERE?!"
  • Mercurymon: "In all fairness, my lord, it's highly unlikely the HA would even acknowledge what happens here."
  • Dark Dragon: "Well I bet that Professor Eagle-Beak guy thought the same thing, and look what happened?! He lost out having a cool Space Station Lair based around a Death Star wanna-be weapon!"
  • Meng Tao: "I take it, this is a diffent no?"
  • Dark Dragon: "ALCHOURSE IT'S A NO?! I rather not risk another Sword-Ceptime on my ass?! (Breaths fire selectively at the flier as Meng Tao freaked out).... Only crazy greed-mongers would try to opt for that bounty! Meng Tao, you are to never bring this up again. Besides, the Lougers are bound to already be around the girl anyway, so it's too late for anything sneaky."
  • Meng Tao: "Understandable, if mainly because I don't want to risk knowing what dumplings go through! (Bows nerviously as he moved backwords)."
  • Coffee was secretly watching this in the shadows.
  • Coffee: "..... Oh hum. Why am I not surprised?"

Team Nefarious Station.

  • Lawrence: Sir, Scratch and Grounder are here with something to show you.
  • Nefarious: Those two kunckle-heads? Ughhh, what is it this time?
  • Scratch and Grounder bust in.
  • Scratch: Dad, Dad, look what we found!
  • Grounder: Hey, I thought we said I was gonna tell him!
  • Scratch: Uh-uh! We said I was gonna tell him!
  • Nefarious: Boys! You can BOTH tell me! Now what is it?!
  • Grounder: Here you go, Dad. (Shows him a flier)
  • Nefarious: Alright, let's see..... Alternate United Universe, mm-hmm... Wanted, okay... A competence potion is the bounty? What use would I have for that?
  • Scratch: Well, it's not like we aren't competent already.
  • Nefarious: Yeah, plus, we don't want to get involved with that dimension again. Not after our bad run-in with Oranos during the time Croker was still encharged. (Shudders), The many ways he had that electric spear probed me. AND I THOUGH THE PROBIANS WERE BAD WITH THAT SHIT?!
  • Grounder: So, that's a no?
  • Nefarious: It's a HUGE no!
  • Lawrence: Sir, if I might make a suggestion, maybe if we acquired this competence potion, we could have our top scientists find a way to reverse its polarity and use it on the High Council to make them give up the Key to the Boundary Generator to us.
  • Nefarious: Well, I do want the Key to the Boundary Generator... But it's still too risky! Even the promise of THAT, isn't enough! We have to be greed mongering bounty hunters to do it, and even THEN, THAT'S a strech!
  • Bellwether: "Oh for Peter Rabbit's sake, was Croker's mistreatment of you, THAT bad?"
  • Nefarious: "(Turns to his ass) WHY DON'T YOU ASK MY ASS?! (Pulls down the butt compartment as the camera was on Bellwether, who sheep screamed as Scratch chicken screamed as Grounder used a stock cartoons cream!)"
  • Lawerwence: "(Casually covers his eyes) Okay, sir. You made your point. We'll pass on this."
  • Nerfarious' voice: "(As the butt compartment was being placed back in) GLAD I made a point about this! On top of that, we are to NEVER bring this shit up again!"
  • As Scracth and Grounder tossed the paper into a recycling center, Coffee was secretly watching and grew beyond disappointed and annoyed.
  • Coffee: "Ughhh.... It's offictal. These villain teams are TOO useless! I'll just have to make due with the mangey bounty hunters instead."

Putting Away Coffee

Mewni

  • Star: (As Coffee was being cuffed)... You know, I'm really embarrassed. I didn't even know Toffee even had a brother.
  • Marco: You said 'even' twice. I for one am glad these guys dealt with him. When we find your mom, she is going to LAUGH!
  • Icky: Yeah, I doubt that. Didn't he kill her mother AND almost kill her daughter?
  • Marco: "Hey, it's not like Toff and Coff are serious threats anymore."
  • Fu-Xi: You're welcome on that we were the ones that painfully declawed this freak. Whatever monster friends you have, I sympathize with.
  • Star: Thanks. Glad that prejudice is common enough to have sympathizers.
  • Marco: I can kinda see why. Snakes are hard animals to get used to when you know what they can do. Especially cobras. I don't know who wouldn't freak after seeing the most poisonous snake in the w... Well, Earth, I guess? I don't know, are there cobras on Mewni?
  • Star: Close, we have Norbros, and they're WAY worse.
  • Fu-Xi: "Sounds like my kind of snakes."
  • Coffee: Oh, f*** you, you little brat, your bloodline ruined my family and cost me my best friend!
  • Marco: Geez, ease off on the language, why don't ya? To repeat what the prehistoric bird said, Toffee tried to drown Star in greenish-black slime, AND killed her grandmother. Your bro also kidnapped me and tried to squish me to bribe Star's wand, and he got me worried for Star's life! And here you are, being an embittered jerk-off about it and tried to cause a new war! Guys like you two are the reason why monsters have such a crappy name in Mewni!
  • Star: Exactly! This problem is why monsters had to leave Mewni's dimension. I still miss Buff Frog and his babies. I might never get to see them grow up. A peace treaty could've fixed this a long time ago if your brother hadn't killed Grandma. All these years, I thought she was at a grandma farm with other grandmas.
  • Coffee: (Scoffs) Seriously? THAT'S what your mom told you?
  • Shenzi: It was better than just telling her too early at the time.
  • Star: I mean, it's bad enough Mom told me Toffee ruined the signing of a peace treaty, but I had to give up my wand because our bloodline stole the kingdom from Eclipsa, ALL BECAUSE OF SOME STUPID DISCRIMINATION THAT EVEN I CAN'T FIX THAT EASILY WITH THE WAND!! Monster and Mewman relations have tore apart my family and my life. My grandma was murdered by your grudge-holding brother, my ancestor Festivia was used because Eclipsa's ex-husband couldn't stand a half-monster daughter, my life as a princess including the stressful issues with my strict mom, the threat of being sent to a reform school that BRAINWASHES CAREFREE PRINCESSES LIKE ME, everything that I was expected to be as a princess? All that shouldn't have been mine in the first place!! It was a waste of my life. I couldn't keep the kingdom because not only was it wrong especially since Meteora was righteously angered by the truth and rampaged Butterfly Castle, but I can't bring myself to be Queen because of all the stress I had to endure BEING a princess, AND the fact that it was hard taking my mom's place. Most of the people in the kingdom could think for themselves. Can you imagine what that's like? (Tearing up) Being constantly told how to dress or go, what to do and what not to do, just being yourself when there's an awful school that wants to turn you into a stock princess just so your family can be happy, everything that made me hate my mom, and wanting to be more like my dad, the fact that monsters adore me because I do whatever I please, just like them, AND THE FACT THAT MONSTERS ARE ALSO RESPONSIBLE FOR MY FAMILY'S SUFFERING AND GENERATIONS OF LIES?! ALL FOR NOTHING?!?...
  • Coffee: "Well how did you think monsters felt when your people booted us out and-"
  • Star: (Slaps Coffee in the face)! I GET IT?! WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU GUYS WAS UNFAIR?! BUT HOW WAS IT FAIR FOR YOUR BROTHER TO RUIN AN ATTEMPT TO MAKE UP FOR IT?! MY GRANDMOTHER WAS TRYING TO MAKE PEACE, BUT INSTEAD, HE DID THE OPPISITE OF PEACE?!
  • Coffee: "Oh sure, blame my brother for Mewni's LACK OF COMMONSENSE OF THINKING THAT YOU PEOPLE DID, CAN BE EASILY FORGIVEN BY A PIECE OF PAPER?!"
  • Star: Does it REALLY matter if it was smart or not for the Mewnians to think that monsters think no differently then them? You can say that my grandmother underestimated how bad the situation was all you want! You have the right to believe what you want! But at the end of the day.... Toffee, was the one who let discrimination get to him! LIKE IT CLEARLY DID WITH YOU?! THE REAL MONSTER WAS THE IDEA OF EVER HATING ANOTHR FOR, TRIVAL AND STUPID REASONS?! AND YOU?! YOUR JUST, ANOTHER BYPRODUCT OF THIS, STUPID HATE?! ANEWAS HERE DID THE RIGHT THING ABANDONING YOU!!!! YOUR LIKE, A FAD THAT REFUSED TO FADE AWAY, EVEN IF PEOPLE DIDN'T CARED FOR IT ANYMORE?!! I LOVE MONSTERS BECAUSE I SEE THE BEST IN ME INSIDE THEM!!! BUT MONSTERS LIKE YOU?! I JUST SEE THE WORST IN ME!!! I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO I AM ANYMORE!!! WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE THIS WAY?! WHYYYYY?!? (Cries hysterically)
  • Coffee was admitingly, bewildered by this....
  • Anewas: I REALLY couldn't have said it better. (As he and Marco comfort a crying Star) Coffee, THIS is why I couldn't support you. Star Butterfly is a free spirit that was oppressed all her life just like us, because people often said that she ACTED like a monster. Mewmans don't deserve any of what you and your brother did. What you two did makes you no better than those Mewman naysayers that treat monsters like... Well, monsters. We monsters adore her for starting to see what we are on the inside. But she wasn't enough to save us from millennia of discrimination. Eclipsa seems to be much better at it than Star or her grandmother. Her mother has, or presumably had, a prejudice on monsters and poisoned her impressionable mind with that prejudice. She had time to see on her own that monsters just want what Mewmans want. To live and be respected. You and your brother don't know what's right for both monsters and Mewmans, and because I didn't take a risk not worth taking, you dragged in outer sources to get back at me. All you did was prove that you're just like your brother.
  • Coffee:.... Duh, TRY TO SEE THINGS IN MY PERSPECTIVE?! THE MEWINIANS SPILLED OUR BLOOD FIRST?! IN OUR EYES, THE FACT THAT THEY THOUGHT THAT THEY CAN BUY FORGIVENESS WITH PAPER, IT'S JUST, INSULTING?! REAL FORGIVENESS WOULD'VE BEEN FORSAKING THE LAND THEY TAKEN AND NEVER COMING BACK?! Brother may had made unpopular moves to you Mewnians, BUT AT LEAST HE UNDERSTOOD THAT SACRIVICES HAD TO BE MADE TO HELP MONSTERS EVERYWHERE?! It, was never meant to be TOO personal, Star, but at least you know how he and I felt about it, WHEN OUR PARENTS AND GRANDPARENTS DIED IN THAT MEWNIAN INVADTION?! Brother was only being the hero monsters wanted, and only giving what your bloodline deserved!
  • Anewas: Well here's the problems your not seeing! The Butterflies that lead the invadtion were radically different people from the one that tried to made peace, even if it was deemed poorly in your eyes! Star's Grandmother, even if her idea of trying to establish peace was proven misguided at best, ISN'T what she deserved, nor the rest of the family for that matter. Toff's is no hero, just mistaken to be one because everyone had the wrong idea about the Mewnians because of deep wounds in their souls. He betrayed monster kind by nearly instigating a war against monsters that are regenerative and indestructible, they just weren't able to see that. If it makes you feel ANY better about what happened to your own folks, none of Star's family feel PROUD of the legacy the early Butterflies did! They even stopped celebrating holidays and birthdays named after them! Alot of Mewniains had done alot of soul-scearching ever since your bro's downfall! And ones that don't are social pariahs now! Even Star here is appalled that Mewmans are looking so hypocritical. That's what drove her to try and help us in the first place. She tried her best and she was close to succeeding. The Mewman-Monster party brought the two very close. A slime monster that cures a spider bite? Those two are good friends, and he had to leave the Mewni dimension. That alone shows that there's hope. How in Lucitor's Underworld, is NONE OF THAT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU?!?
  • Coffee:.... Because it doesn't bring back the ones that DON'T, get to see this appearent age of better relations. The Mewnian King and Queen of old that are respondsable for Mewdependence Day, have a DEPLORABLE rap-sheet of genoside and causing the extinction of monster spieces! The Yinner-Dinners! The Neets! The Klumagnono! The Skullcauri! The Unicoron! The Ragons, The Sclicks, The Jello-Mellos! And so many that can't be readily counted! All innosent monsters, that saw extinction, BY MEWNIAN HANDS?! To forgive the Mews, is to overlook their genoside?! That was what made what your Grandmother tried to do, so, offensive to brother! It was not just the act of thinking a STUPID PIECE OF PAPER WOULD JUST WASH AWAY OUR PEOPLE'S SUFFERING?! It's the fact that the genoside of so many innosent races that are not among us anymore, can be just, overlooked, like it was nothing? My brother was in danger of being unpopular with people no matter WHAT he had choosen! He desided that it was better to be unpopular with you Mews, because you ALREADY don't look kindly on us anyway?! My brother, would've had it worse with monsters if he accepted that stupid paper?! Your grandmother, had the idiotic gull, to think that Genoside was something to be forgiven?! it just shows that you Mews are DANGERIOUSLY full of yourselves, and it's only a matter of time before the Butterflies produce a new generation of discrimination resurgence that UNDERMINES this already lackluster progress anyway and finish what was started?! THAT was what brother wanted to prevent?! For your feeble attempts at peace beuing UNDERMINED by your own hands anyway, as if nothing EVER HAS CHANG-
  • Star: IT'S NOT MY FAULT!!! *Sniffs* YOU THINK I LIKE WATCHING MONSTERS BEING DISCRIMINATED?! I WAS IN A SIMILAR SITUATION!!! I GAVE UP THE KINGDOM BECAUSE YOUR PROBLEMS ARE WHY I WAS ROYALTY!!! I ALWAYS WISHED TO MYSELF THAT I WAS NEVER A PRINCESS!!! I WANTED TO BE FREE AS A MONSTER. IF I WASN'T BORN A PRINCESS, I WOULD'VE BEEN FRIENDS WITH A LOT OF MONSTERS!!!
  • Marco: (Looking at the heroes and sighs) She's been having these thoughts recently. She may not have her wand anymore, but she can Dip Down now. She doesn't really need it anymore. We're... Still looking for her mom. I'm just more determined to help her because of this quarter-life crisis.
  • Fu-Xi: I'm exceedingly sorry for that.
  • Marco: Someone has to be. (Goes in front of the three before things get intense) WILL EVERYONE JUST SHUT IT?!? (The three did that)... Coffee, you can hide behind that your family were not treated fairly all you want, end of the day, your still a sucky person. You're not going to win anything from this. Just drop it and accept your punishment like a real monster. (Coffee growled) Oh don't you growl at me! (Slaps him)! See that? I can disapleane you like my dog when he growls!.... Star? (He stared at her super-sad face and almost cried himself before perking up) Coffee is just doing what Meteora did. Taking his own problems out on you and Anewas and trying to make you feel like you're not significant. He's trying to guilt-trip you into becoming a misentrope, and basicly, hate on your own people! Don't let the past rule you like it did him. You're a tough girl. You come from a dimension where anything can kill you.
  • Icky: Including a holiday icon that would scare anybody into never celebrating it, AAAAND a gift card that DISINTEGRATES you when it expires.
  • Marco: NOT THE POINT!! You're not like the earlier strain of your family. You grew up so fast. You're not the same crazy magical girl I used to think you were. You're a shining star that can be better than a princess. You're willing to do something better for Mewni, and, whether Toff or his bro appresiate that or not, that's their problem, cause, as long as any one of your family is trying at all, even if it doesn't exactly magicly reversed the sins of the past, that's all that matters. You may not be able to do that as a princess or a queen, but it doesn't matter. You're a hero. You changed my life from a boring Earth school life into a life of, weird, crazy fantasy adventure and danger around every corner. You helped me admit my feelings for Jackie. You gave me a reputation as a free spirit like you by helping other princesses like you be free without people like Miss Heinous say they shouldn't be like that. You gave me, purpose. A reason to move on and never give up.... I don't want that Star to go away.
  • Star:... Oh, Marco. (The two hug)
  • Coffee:.... Ugh... This is so insultingly sweet that I may risk cavities now. Thanks alot. (Marco kicked him in the face) OOF!
  • Marco: "Oh put a sock in it already, lizard breath!"
  • Sandy: Well, you two future lovebirds have fun with your journey.
  • Star: Oy, again with that. As if Rubariot wasn't enough. I already have a boyfriend.
  • Fidget: Yeah, but it might not last long if your breakup with Tom wasn't an indication.
  • Sandy: It ain't just that. Believe me. (Winks at Marco as he smiled)... Anyway, it's nothing. We just did this for you because Coffee tried to get our arch-foes involved, but thanks to them knowing better then to mess with AUUians without cause grander then implications or something as meager as a compidence potion, he was forced to settle with unreliably untrustable bounty hunters!
  • Star: Well, you can't imprison him here. Eclipsa-
  • SpongeBob: Banned it. We got that.
  • Icky: "Well, we're not keeping this asshole. The guy might be able to try his luck with the indie-villains after how much of total wimps the triple-A guys were, and we can't risk this guy being behind a spontantiously appearing VA in the AUU."
  • Coffee: "(Chuckles), Quite a dilemma. Well, short of just killing me off, which I'm sure will garrentie QUITE a reaction from my kind for such a feat, even dispite my ill-fated social status with them, guess neither of you have anything planned for me."
  • Lord Shen: "Would you dare be so confident? Just because traditional prisons aren't safe for you to be sent to, doesn't mean we can't get, creative, with what we intent for you."
  • Coffee ceased being confident.
  • Coffee: "..... Oh, poo."

Later...

  • Coffee's face was seen....
  • Coffee: ".... I, really should've, left Anewas's betrayal, well enough alone."
  • Coffee was seem glued to a wall to a tree surrounded by overtly happy creatures and beings as this song was heard.
Smile, Darn Ya, Smile!- Who Framed Roger Rabbit Soundtrack (Lyics)

Smile, Darn Ya, Smile!- Who Framed Roger Rabbit Soundtrack (Lyics)

  • (Icky): "(As the Van leaves through Saetha's dimensional scissors) HAVE FUN IN THE DIMENSION OF OVERT-HAPPINESS, COFFEE BOY!!"
  • Coffee finally lost his cool as the overt-happiness became too much!
  • Coffee: "CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS?!"

Mewni

  • Marco: (Shivers) Me and Star were there once when we were still living on Earth. It was too much even for her.
  • Saetha: No kid. I like being happy too, but that dimention was a one-trick Lony! It gets abit much after litterally just 5 seconds in there! I hope we can meet again someday, Star. And... Good luck finding your mom.
  • Star: Thanks. And good luck finding wonder on Mewni. And guys? (To the Lodgers)... Thanks for dealing with Coffee.
  • Icky: Yeah... Totally-tots-magoats no probs!
  • Star: (Chuckles) Very funny. FANTASTIC EXIT BEAM! (She and Marco launch away on said spell from Star's hands) WHEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeee...
  • Saetha:... She's really funny.
  • Fidget: To a fault.
  • Fu-Xi: "Uh, hate to spoil the moment, but, can I be taken home now? I got snake-hateing leggers' butts to bite and names to take!"
  • Icky: "Aw don't worry, Prince Vegiacard of the Snake Race, we're just about to head to dreamworks china to drop ya off!"

Transcript

Chapter 1: An AUU Stranger/Off To Mewni

Chapter 2: Meeting Saetha, Anewas, And Coffee

Chapter 3: Coffee's Revenge And Bounty

Chapter 4: Saetha's Capture

Chapter 5: Finding Saetha

Chapter 6: Final Battle With Coffee

Material

Songs/Music/Videos

Star vs

Star vs. the Forces of Evil - Just Friends (Song)

Saetha's Favorite OUU Song

Really Slow Motion - This is Your Way (Epic Dramatic Trailer)

Really Slow Motion - This is Your Way (Epic Dramatic Trailer)

Ambient Revelation Theme

Epic Symphonic Metal - Thunderstorm

Epic Symphonic Metal - Thunderstorm

Climax Music

When the Night Is Long (From "Final Space")

When the Night Is Long (From "Final Space")

Saving Saetha From Coffee