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Bride of a Frog Mutant

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Bride of a Frog Mutant is the 15th Episode of Season 3A of the SpongeBob and Friends Adventures Chronicles series. Hank has been bailed out of jail by Cadance who, after her monastery was finally completed, has the well-meaning intention of ending Hank as a threat by curing him of darkness through him succumbing to the power of love. She has discovered a special type of potion that is able to alter the amygdala of the brain to give it a sense of love strong enough for rehabilitation, and needed to be activated with a love spell which, if done correctly, would completely reform the drinker. She used the potion on Hank, and in a way it worked, but because of a mistake that she failed to notice, Hank is now not only nicer, but he has fallen hopelessly in love with his supposed enemy: Sandy. He starts flirting with her, and by the time Cadance discovers not just the mistake, or the fact that it only lasts a week, but the fact that there is a loophole that can make the potion's affects wear off, and that is to break Hank's heart, though it will end up making him evil again. So after thinking of how they will do it, they discover that certain sponge could have the key to snapping Hank out of his love trance in an apparently-obvious way. But they soon realize that waiting a week isn't an option because Hank suddenly kidnaps Sandy and arranges a private marriage in Texas. Now it's up to the Lodgers and the regretful Cadance to stop this before Sandy will have to meet certain requirements to become Hank's bride.

Transcript[]

Chapter 1: Hank's Bail[]

Prison 42

  • A Prison lunchroom was seen.
  • The Prisoners were seen snickering at Hank, Anima and Batula.
  • Batula: "Oh goblablah. They're still with the laughing at us."
  • Anima: "I know, it's sickening."
  • Batula: "Well, at least it's great you learned to speak english on your own during our momentary freedom."
  • Anima: "Thanks. That Mad Sciencetist from V-CON was magnifisent. I owe Dr. Stinglish a great deal."
  • Hank: "It matters not though. We're in this lame space prison again. I was really hoping it would close down that chrismas day, but thanks to Miss Viper's stupid uncle, it got reappoved for funding!"
  • Batula: "Ah, don't worry, my multi-limbed frog friend. At least we had a great time at V-Con."
  • Anima: "Ashame we're not allowed to talk too much about it, though. That Mugshotra place is un-natrolly strict."
  • ???: "Ello, my simpleton idiot friends."
  • The trio look to see Kung-Pow, having sided with the Jailbird Troupe and Lord Tussle the orc from The Revival of Cronk and Zephyr.
  • Kung Pow: "You three worthless mongrels are in MY spot!"
  • Anima: "Oh, splended. It's the "Big Man of Prison 42" himself, Kung-Pow and his kiss-ups, a bunch of rip-off birds of certain establish characters and the sole surviver of a bunch of mythical creatures that were stealing tec from that Electross guy."
  • Batula: "Just be'a cause you were the one guy closest to actselly beat the lougers, doesn't mean you get to push people around, Kung-Poopy! Heck, Anima was closet of actselly beating the lougers too!"
  • Kung-Pow: "But since then, the spirit has turned into a joke when he hung out with you two failures! ESPEICALLY, (LAUGHS), THAT HE'S EASILY COUNTERACTED, BY A PONY?!"
  • Tussle: "HA! If you were with Toron, he would've ripped you apart of your patheticness."
  • Anima: "HOW DARE YOU INSULT THE GREAT ANIMA?! (TURNS SUPER SCARY WITH ANGER) I SHALL DEVOUR YOUR SOULS AND-"
  • Kung-Pow defelupted a portal of Pinkie Pie saying "DOI"!
  • Anima screamed like a girl!
  • Kung-pow and his new friends laughed!
  • Kung-Pow: "Now, are you clowns gonna leave, or what?"
  • Hank: "HEY, IF YOU JERKS WANNA TAKE THIS SPOT, YOU HAVE TO FIGHT US FOR IT?! Unless the little lizard and his friends are, chickens."
  • Batula: "Oh no Hank, not again?!"
  • Kung-Pow: "..... Call me a lizard again, frog.... Go ahead.... See what happens."
  • Hank: "Ok then. LI-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I--ZSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS-ARD?!"
  • Nothing happens.
  • Hank: ".... Huh.... For a second there, I thought that was gonna provoke you into attacking us for some-" (The group suddenly jump on Hank and start beating him up)
  • Batula: HEY, LET HIM GO!! (He and Anima try and defend Hank, but the group pushes them away. Then the robot guards suddenly break up the fight with tasers which shock the group into halting)
  • Hank: THANK YOU VERY MUCH!! I was afraid they would shatter my brain case!
  • Lord Tussle: I'LL SHOW YOU A BRAIN CASE--(He gets shocked by a guard) YAAHH!!
  • Robot Guard #1: A riot calls for immediate return to your cells. You will come with us, or we will alert security to take extreme measures.
  • Hank:...(Growls) I HATE you, Kung-Pow!
  • Kung-Pow: (Snickers) Good luck skipping out on lunch, loser!
  • Hank: Joke's on you, YOU'RE not getting any lunch either!
  • Kung-pow: "It's worth it not seeing you fools have lunch either?!"
  • After Kung-Pow was taken further away, his followers began to sigh sadly.
  • Kung Lao: "Mr. Carlson, remind me again why we must aside to Master Kung-Pow?"
  • Lord Carlson: "Don't get me wrong, it's purely for protection status. I have alot of enemies that were sent here that, still resent me for my past misdeeds. They're afraid of Kung-Pow's power more then they hate me."
  • Tussle: "I'm only with him because my own mistakes would've made me a joke. I'm inadvertingly respondsable for the downfall of Toron and the only bandit group with actcess to tecknowagey. You have any idea how many of these crooks would torment me for incompidence."
  • Rasputin: "Pretty much entire prison with exception to harmless ones, like us, the attractive thieves, that rattlesnake and his bug friend, and those three as long as they're not provoked."
  • Hank, Anima and Batula are seen dragged away as well.
  • Tussle: "Admitingly, I almost hate having to torment those albeit less-successful villains."
  • El Devil: "Yeah, but if we don't, then Kung Pow will straight up abandon us, and we'd be on our own."
  • Zuza: "It's true what they say about it being lonely and cold at the top."
  • The group were finally drag away as well.

Cells.

  • Wicked Witch: "THANKS FOR MAKING US LITTERALLY LOSE OUR LUNCH, FROG?!"
  • Other prisoners began to complain as well.
  • Hank: "....... Riditcule and hatred... Just like with my zealotiously relijustus jerk uncle who hated Charles Darwin.... I can hear his stupid voice again."

Hank relives his painful childhood from his zealotical uncle, and during and after it, this song accures.

Marik_-_Out_There

Marik - Out There

  • Hank sighed.
  • Hank: ".... Ya know, I realise that I sounded very weird singing a song meant to be song by a hero."
  • Hypnorattle: Oh, relax, guys. Missing a meal isn't gonna kill you as long as you wait for the next one. I've skipped lunch a few times when I was young, and I was just fine. (The prisoners growled at him) Now, now, easy, guys! You know I can defend myself!
  • Hank:... (Sighs) I wish I did. If I was a poison-dart frog, that would be enough. But nope... I'm just a frog doomed with a horrible back-story involving trying to bring the next stage of evolution which backfired in a very disastrous way!
  • Petey: Yeah, and by next stage of evolution, you mean TURNING EVERYONE ON A SWAMP PLANET INTO MUTANT ZOMBIES!!!
  • Hank: Hey, I was working my way around that, you dumb insect! My worms still had kinks to work out! Besides, I wouldn't back talk a creature that eats bugs like you for lunch! In fact, YOU could be the lunch I was denied!
  • Petey:... (Gulps) Okay, I'll shut up! (Suddenly, the cell opened as a robot guard and a warden appeared)
  • Warden: Hank, it appears someone has bailed you out.
  • Hank:... You're serious?
  • Warden: I do not kid, pal! Did I SOUND like I was joking?
  • Hank:... Well... Who would want to bail ME out?

Later...

  • Hank: Oh, of COURSE it was her! Aren't you like, Celestia's daughter or something?
  • Candence: "I'm her niece, actselly. Celestia currently doesn't have foals of her own."
  • Hank: "Well, what the heck do you want with me for? I may be a joke compaired to those new "edger" villains, but I still feel like being a jerk to everyone and exsellerate evolution through worms! So you basicly wasted your time, Luna's daughter."
  • Candence: "She's my aunt as well."
  • Hank raised an eyebrow.
  • Hank: "How can they BOTH be your aunts? Is there a 3rd sibling nobody's aware of?"
  • Candence: "Let's just say that, I have a father that my aunts, don't want to talk about too much for... Reasons."
  • Hank: ".... It sounds like your dad's a real donkus. Like that jerk Kung-Pow. He costed everyone our lunch cause he got into a fight with me and EVERYONE hates me for it!"
  • Warden: "That is mainly because you refused to move somewhere else and called him a lizard. Kung-Pow mainly acted out provoked."
  • Hank: "Well it STILL isn't fair HE isn't hated by the other prinsoners as well! What did he even do to get here anyway?"
  • Warden: He was accused of almost mentally murdering a Superior while attempting to take over Kratos.
  • Hank: 'MENTALLY' murdering? What does that mean exactly?
  • Warden: It means destroying his consciousness, of course! You know the people of Kratos have superpowers!
  • Hank: Okay, okay, forget I asked! I hope wherever I'm going is much better than this stupid place. As wonderful as the new TVs and radios in our cells are, they don't make up for the fact that PRISONERS WANT TO HURT YOU BECAUSE OF YOUR CONSTANT HUMILIATIONS!!!
  • Warden: Don't push it, Hank! Cadance is offering you your chance to get away from all of that.
  • Hank: And that's good! I no longer have to put up with that pitiful excuse of a reptile!
  • Cadance: (Sighs) You've got a LOT to learn where we're going, Hank.
  • Hank: Yeah, yeah, the radios in my cell told me about your little reforming crib. Well, good luck trying to reform me, missy, I am 100% resistant to ANYTHING you say to me.
  • Cadance: Oh, you'd be surprised. Now let's go. (They go through a yellow portal and go right down the yellow tube in the prison)
  • Kung Pow: (From another cell) GOOD RIDDANCE, YA ZOMBIE CREATING-SHITTARD!!
  • Warden: KUNG-POW, WE WILL NOT TOLERATE THAT CRAP!! BE QUIET!!

Later...

  • A royal equestian ship was leaving the area.
  • Cadance: Well, Hank, now that you'll be living with me, we'll need to declare some ground rules.
  • Hank: I make my own rules, Princess! (Cadance makes him slap himself) OW!
  • Cadance: First thing, talk nicely to your superiors!
  • Hank: "Well excuse me princ-"
  • SMACK!?
  • Hank: "OW?! Ok, ok! I get it now! But gosh, my face hurts!"
  • Cadence: "Rule number two, you'll have to reconsider your "exserated evoulution" plan. Too many people don't find comfert in being mutanted. Espeically if it also zombifies them as well, appearently."
  • Hank: "G'oh. Somehow, I knew that was gonna be a thing!"
  • Candence: "And finally, play nice with the other people of the monistairy."
  • Hank: "But wouldn't that defeat the purpose of me being a villain?"
  • Candence: "That's kinda the idea of the reforming monistairy. To reabilitate those who lost their way."
  • Hank: "But my reasons aren't THAT tragic! I just wasn't appresiated for a good idea!"
  • Candence: "Well, actselly, you weren't appresiated for mistaking mutanting yourself and people as the next course of evolution. You were shunned by a socity that cares too greatly for physical perfection and shuns everything that goes against the norm. True, had you been able to perfect your worms correctly, it can actselly improve lifes. But the problem is, mutants don't have it great in modern socity in many worlds. Mostly thanks to X-men comics and horror movies that use mutants to name some. It's sadly part of basic nature to discriminate and distrust anything not normal. Even Equestia is not completely ammune to that problem."
  • Hank's jaw was agape.
  • Hank: ".... Just like how my professors rejected me... I... I barely understood why they did it....."
  • Candence: "Well, it was also because mostly that mutantion is commenly assusiated with mad science. They, felt you were becoming... A mad man."
  • Hank: "Coudn't they see I was just a guy that wanted to make life better and awesomer and not some nut?! Well thanks to socity not seeing my genius, I went alittle crazy and I got thrown to jail for it?! I mean, seriously! That Xenon guy's a mutant, isn't he!? What did HE do right that I didn't!?"
  • Candence: "1, his mutantion was an accsident. 2, he reconsidered his course when he realises that his formula was flawed, and 3, he was also a healer and medicine genius. Alot of his ideas didn't invole malformation or other problems commen in mutantions. He also never included worms in his persuits. That probuly worked against you."
  • Hank: "Why's that? The worms I was using were capable to give you extra limbs! What did people have against that?"
  • Cadance: (Looks at him sternly)
  • Hank:... Well, why?
  • Cadance:... And who would want to allow themselves to have worms to give them extra arms? And again, even if extra arms does sound useful on paper, people in an appearence centered socity would think of them as freaks. Face it, Hank, you need to give up these plans of yours.
  • Hank: Why should I? It's been my life-long dream!
  • Cadance: Some dreams aren't meant to come true, Hank. Nobody wants anything to do with your work now since formerly, you've twisted the minds of the inhabitants of a single planet. Yes the residents of Poi-Son have recovered thanks to the Lougers, but you have quite a nasty reputation from it, Hank. Everyone sees you as a person who tried to play God and turn people into mindless zombie inspired animals.
  • Hank: Hey I already said the zombie bit was a kink I needed to buff out and.... (Sighs) Whatever!
  • Cadance: Well, we're almost to the monastery. Better make yourself comfortable while meeting your new friends.
  • Hank: Pfft, as if I'll be able to get along with them.
  • Cadance: Oh, I'm sure you will, Hank.
  • Hank: And how would you know?
  • Cadance:... Because I run that place, and I know them very well. (They land at the Reforming Monastery as the residents there watch them land)
  • Dr. Wazabi: Hmm, it appears Cadance has finally arrived with our new resident.
  • Grimoors: "I heard it's gonna be someone difficult to change."
  • Kevin: "Difficult to change huh? Who do you think it is, Grimoors?"
  • Grimoors: "Well, pretty much any one of the Prison 42 prisoners."
  • Fang: "I do believe the success with us has certainly gone into the poor girl's head."
  • Grimoors: "Hey, it can be anyone she wants, as long as it's not that stupid mutant nerd Hank. Man that guy was ugly with a capital UG! If I ever had to look at his swamp smelling face again, I swear, I would-"
  • Shamus Von Phantomerge: "He wouldn't happen to be a frog with a brain glass case and multiable limbs, would he?"
  • Grimoors: "Why that's exactly him. Why ask that, wadding bird?"
  • Shamus: Because... I think it IS Hank we're talking about. See? (They see Cadance arriving with Hank, and it ends with all of them groaning and complaining at the same time)
  • Othello: ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?
  • Cadance:... What is it, guys? Are you not happy that Hank is going to be living with us and will soon be reformed?
  • Ryan: That asswipe will never change! I mean look at him, he's still looking as evil as ever!
  • Cadance: These things take time, Ryan! You can't expect a villain to change at the very first second.
  • Hank: I told you these guys wouldn't like me!
  • Cadance: Hank, please! Look, guys, can you at least find it in your heart to trust him on this? I'm sure by next week, he'll be over his past in no time.

1 week later...

  • Dr. Wazabi: (He appears with 2 extra wings) AAARRRGGGGHHHH!!!
  • Cadance:... Okay, maybe the next week will be different...

Another week later...

  • Cadance: (She sees that Dr. Wazabi has spider legs)... I'm sure he'll get through it eventually...

Eventually...

  • Dr. Wazabi: (He appears with wolf-like features)... Uhhh?
  • Cadance:... Uhhhgh!

Uhh...

  • Cadance: (She appears in Dr. Wazabi's lab and confronts Hank) Hank Spooner, we need to talk right now!
  • Hank: Oh, just one more minute, I-
  • Cadance: Don't 'one more minute' me, Mr. Darwinator! (Turns the TV off)
  • Hank: HEY, I'M MISSING THE COCONUT!! (Cadance looks sternly at him)... (Sighs) FINE! What is it, your highness?
  • Candence: "I feel as if you have some difficulty to let go of your obcession with mutanting people. Is this earnestly true?"
  • Hank: "Oh come on, it was only Wazabi. It's not like I was mutanting anyone else."
  • Cadance: (Points to the re-mutated Scor-Ab-Der, Dinosaur Man, and Radiosaurus) Hmmmm?
  • Hank: "Oh I was just messing with them that time."
  • Cadance: (Points to Wazabi having all of the mutantions on him) Hmmmmm?
  • Hank: "(Nerviously) So?"
  • Cadance: (Points to some of the monastery as mutants) Hmmmm? (Points at some in the living room) Hmmmmm? (Points to the Shape Swifters who were now conjoined together) HMMMMMMMM?!?! (Cadance then opens a window and shows Hank that he turned many, many bunnies into mutant bunnies)
  • Hank started to wimper.
  • Hank: "I..... I CAN'T HELP IT, OK?! THIS ISN'T A DREAM THAT JUST DIES!?"
  • Hank turns away and cries.
  • Hank: "I'm, I'm not just doing it for myself! I, I had an awful super relijustus uncle who hated Charles Darwin who said that no one was ever gonna believe in me! I, I tried to prove him wrong, but HE ENDED UP BEING RIGHT?! I HATE MY STUPID UNCLE?! I HATE HIM HATE HIM HATE HIM HATE HIM!?"
  • Hank ran away crying!
  • Candence: ".... I.... I never knew that about him...."
  • Ryan: ".... The guy had a relijustus evoulution denying uncle?"
  • Dr. Wazabi: "There is nothing worse then having a familiy member that doesn't accept you for who you are."
  • Grimoors: "Ha. Crybaby."
  • Everyone looks at Grimoors.
  • Grimoors: "Oh come on, he turned us all into freaks, remember?"
  • Candence sighed sadly and turned everyone back to normal.
  • Radiosaurus (A raptor again): ".... Scor, I'm still surprised that your actselly a girl."
  • Scor-Ab-Der (Normal Rabbit again) Radio, shut up."
  • Candence: "Everyone, I now know the full extent of Hank's problems. He is doing it to proof it to a resentful member of his family that people can love his ideals. His insanity wasn't just born of being rejected by socity.... It was born from trying to prove his worth to a harshly critical uncle."
  • Kevin: "I know, but what can we do? Mutanting people is obviously how he copes with not having the love of his uncle, or all of socity for that matter."
  • Candence gasped in relisation.
  • Candence: "Kevin, say that again."
  • Kevin: "... "Or all of socity for that matter"?"
  • Candence: "No no no, before that."
  • Kevin:... Mutating people is obviously how he copes with not having the love of his uncle?
  • Cadance:... Wazabi, I think I have an experiment that we'd like to work on.
  • Dr. Wazabi: And what might that be? I am mainly a computer genius. I am not much for biologagy.
  • Candence: "Well, what we need is gonna require tecnological help."

Chapter 2: Cadance's Love Rehabilitation[]

3 days later...

  • Cadance: (She and Wazabi were busy working with chemicals and poured them into a small beaker, and the result is a pink glittering liquid)...Well, looks like we followed the book's instructions correctly.
  • Dr. Wazabi: Are you sure this potion of yours is a good idea, Cadance?
  • Cadance: I'm sure it is, Wazabi. This potion was created by a successor of Star Swirl the Bearded in an attempt to reform a friend of his that went down the wrong path. He called it the Venus Potion. It is meant to give a small pulse inside the amygdala, the part of the brain responsible for emotion, and use love to allow the drinker to discover something truly worth reformation. And it did seem to work, yet it had never been used again ever since.
  • Dr. Wazabi: And you think this will work?
  • Cadance: Well, it is worth a shot. I've been yearning to try it out for a while.
  • Dr. Wazabi: "I just think that there might be a reason why it never was tried again."
  • Candence: "We have to try at least."

Corner of the hallway.

  • Hank was cornered in the corner and crying.
  • Hank: "Uncle, please don't beat me again. Please don't."

Flashback.

  • A tall robed figure was spanking a younger non-mutant Hank with a ruler!
  • Hank: "OWIE?! OWIE?! UNCLE, STOP?!"
  • Hank's Unlce: "NOT UNTIL YOU STOP IT WITH THAT CHARLES DARWIN HERASY?! THAT MAN IS A CHARALATIN?! THE IDEA OF BEING DESENDED FROM, RETARDED BEASTS, DISGUSTING?! THERE'S NO WAY THAT BE RIGHT?!"
  • Hank's Unlce tossed Hank into a wall!
  • Hank's Uncle: "NOW YOU STAY HERE AND DON'T LET ME CATCH YOU READING THESE FILTHY BOOKS AGAIN!?"
  • Hank's Uncle leaves.
  • Hank cried again.

Flashback ends.

  • Hank: "I.... I can't take this anymore?! I HATE MY UNCLE?! If I can't get him to understand, then, I'll get even with him?! I'll get off this pony planet, get on a ship, return to Texas, and find my uncle and give him the worse mutanted make-over of his life! That'll show him?! I'LL SHOW HIM!? Yeah!? Then he'll never disrespect me again!? NO ONE WILL DISRESPECT ME?!"
  • Hank coiled pathicly.
  • Hank: "I'll show him, I'll show, all of them...."
  • Cadance: (She saw this from across the hallway with Wazabi holding a cup)...Well, I think he really NEEDS reformation and fast. I guess we'd better activate the potion right now.
  • Dr. Wazabi: Why didn't we do it earlier?
  • Cadance: I needed to check on Hank before I did it. We'll just get him to drink the potion, and I'm sure things will be fine.
  • Dr. Wazabi:... Cadance, one question, uh, do you know what happened to the friend of Star Swirl's successor? Did anything happen to him?
  • Cadance: Nope. It actually worked. But there's no time to talk about it. (Magically casts a spell on the potion, and it starts to glow)... Alright... Here it goes. (She walks up to Hank)
  • Hank:... Cadance? What are you doing here?
  • Cadance: I overheard your words. I think it's best if you stopped doing this nonsense and drink this.
  • Hank:... (Smells the drink) WHOO, smells like aroma!
  • Cadance: It's a potion that's supposed to reform you by allowing you to forget your problems.
  • Hank:... That's all? It just makes you forget your problems? Is there something you're not telling me?
  • Cadance: Alright, it uses love to do the trick, okay? I assure you that this is the answer you need.
  • Hank: Well, forget it! I have a better choice in mind, and that's making my uncle pay for the pain he caused me!
  • Cadance: You know I can't allow that. Just drink this potion, and you'll be in a much better place.
  • Hank:... You sure it can allow me to forget the trouble I've been through?
  • Cadance: Yes. Isn't that what you want?
  • Hank: Yes, but-
  • Cadance: Then go ahead. Drink it.
  • Hank:... (Sighs, snatches the cup). If I die, stay away from my funeral. (Drinks it up)... Alright, what happens now?
  • Candence: "Give it a minute. It has a slow start up."
  • Hank started to feel funny as stomich gurgles are heard.
  • Hank started to turn into various colors, even scottish kilt color, checkers color, and candy cane stripes.
  • Hank: "Is this, normal?"
  • Candence: "Don't worry. The weird coloring is normal."
  • Hank: (His stomach makes noises) Oh, I don't feel so good!... I THINK I'M GONNA BE SICK!! (Runs off)
  • Dr. Wazabi: (Hank runs towards him, and he ends up pushing him out of the way) DOOF! (Hits a wall)... HEY, WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING, IDIOT!!!
  • Cadance:... Well... I sure hope that he doesn't barf up the potion.

Bathroom

  • Hank: (Goes into the bathroom, and runs into a cubicle and goes over a toilet hoping to barf, taking deep breaths)... Funny... Nothing seems to be happening, I... I... (He suddenly feels something, and his eyes start to glow pink as a glittering heart appears in his pupils and fades away)... Wow... suddenly, I feel a lot better now. I don't feel like mutating my uncle at all!
  • Cadance: HANK! (Knocks on the door)
  • Dr. Wazabi: You do realize you're about to enter the boys bathroom, right?
  • Cadance: Being the owner of this place means I can enter any place I want, Wazabi. Besides, there's nobody else in there. HANK, ARE YOU OKAY?
  • Hank: (Comes out of the bathroom)... You bet your ass I am! Perhaps your little potion worked after all. I'm not worried about my uncle issues anymore. I'm so happy, I feel like solving string theory!
  • Dr. Wazabi: Now THAT'S the spirit! Knew you were right all along, Cadance! Never doubted you for a second!
  • Cadance: Suuuure you didn't. But in all seriousness, I'm glad it worked as expected. Well, I guess our work here is done.
  • Wazabi: Well, I'll escort Hank back to the lab. He'll need a moment to adjust to this.

Wazabi's Lab

  • Hank gets zappy happy and starts to bounce around like a billy goat!
  • Dr. Wazabi looks slightly annoyed.
  • Dr. Wazabi: "... I actselly liked him better evil."

Living room.

  • Grimoors was eating a giant bowl of chips and watching a pony football game.
  • Grimoors: "I had to admit. Those tiny horses are good at kicking a "Pigskin" ball."
  • Hank came in and sat next to him, giving a huge happy smile!
  • Hank: "Hey grimmy! What ya watching?"
  • Grimoors: "Oh bloodly hell, you better not be here to mutante me again, ya little toad!"
  • Hank: "Miss Candy gave me a potion that made me nicer!"
  • Grimoors: "..... You mean Candence, and... A potion? Well, that was abit forced."
  • Hank: "You wanna hug, Grimmy?"
  • Grimoors: "Ew, no! I actselly liked you better when you wanted to mutante people."
  • Hank gives Grimoors a big hug, to his annoyence and disgust.
  • Grimoors: ".... Please tell me we're alone in here."
  • Ryan: (He and the other Shape Swifters appeared with Fang, Othello, Cold Deep Sea, and Wildflower appeared) Hey, we didn't miss the game, did we... Oh... What's happening?
  • Grimoors: (Sighs) Cadance gave Darwin-Brain here a reforming potion. Now he's all lovey-dovey all of a sudden.
  • Zach: Oh... Well, at least he can't be THAT annoying can he?
  • Hank: All of you wanna join us? It looks like those griffins are really giving those ponies a hard time with the game.
  • Wildflower:... Well... This is kinda suppose to be our private time, so, Uh... Can you leave, please?
  • Hank: Why?
  • Wildflower: Because... Because there's some ice cream in the fridge you can have. And if you want, you can put those mealworms on it as a kind of topping.
  • Hank: MEALWORMS?!? OOH, MY FAVORITE!! (Zooms off)
  • Deep Sea:... Why do we have mealworms again?
  • Clarence: They're a snack for us reptiles, of course.
  • Ryan: They're even twice as yummy when they're adults. That's why we have a farm for them.

Kitchen

  • Hank: (Is already finished making the ice cream, and then notices a picture of the Shell Lodge Squad, and manages to notice Sandy in the picture)... Oh, Sandy, I remember her. We went to the same school together. She seemed pretty nice when we met. Sure I made a fool of myself, but I'm sure she'll be willing to forgive me when she hears that I've changed. I could drop by and say hi, and... And...(Looks at Sandy in the picture more, and he slowly gets hearts in his eyes)... And I never noticed how beautiful she was! I mean, I was kinda attractive to her before, but, I never really felt she would love me back since.... That fateful science expo in collage...."

Flashback.

  • A nervious teenage Hank stood before a series of collage professors.
  • Hank: "My project is about the worm spieces Ribeiroia ondatrae, and how, they can bring evolution to the next level...."
  • The Professors are abit confused and curious.
  • First Professor: "Using a known parasite to exsellerate evolution? That does sound crazy, but... My curioisity is peeked. Further explain yourself, young Spooner."
  • Hank was filled with hope.
  • Hank: "Well, you see, the worms I have modifived would enable the person to gain extra and cool limbs! They could make housework super easy, cause we would have litterally extra hands to do everything! We could even litterally have EYES IN THE BACKS OF OUR HEADS! We could even grow wings!"
  • First Professor: "And contributing in easeing the dependence of fozzul fuel, in throey? This almost sound like nobel prize material."
  • Second Professor: "One problem though. We live in a socity that vainly obcesses over beauty and sytile over funtionality. Not that many people would actselly approve of extra limbs. Some would even harshfully compaire them to freaks."
  • Hank: "That's nonsense! I can prove that extra limbs can look beautiful too! I'll use the worms on myself!"
  • 3rd Professor: "Now master Hank, let's not get excited, you might end up ugly if you haven't tested these things before this and-"
  • Hank has already instailled the worms in him.
  • Hank began flinching as if he was in serious pain, as extra arms and legs bursted out in a groteste scene, disgusting and shocking the professors!
  • Hank: "Ow...... Pretty neat, huh?"
  • First Professor: "..... I'm sorry, young Hank, but, I'm afraid the public, and most and formost the science community, might not be ready for, this kind of thing."
  • Hank looked as if his hope were crushed.
  • Hank: "But.... Professor Rattlestein.... What do you mean?"
  • Second Professor: "HE MEANS THAT THE PROGRESS OF GETTING EXTRA LIMBS THROUGH YOUR METHOD IS, HORRENDUS AND ABOMINABLE?!"
  • Professor Rattlestein: "Professor Ztingercop, please! He's a sensitive and troubled boy! He doesn't know better!"
  • Professor Ztingercop: "SENSITVIE!? TROUBLED?! IF HE STILL GOES THROUGH WITH THIS, SOCITY WILL NOT BE AS KIND AS YOU ARE, YOU OVERLY SYMPATHIC RATTLER!?"
  • Hank: "Professors, please, I promise I'll work certain kinks out, just give me some time!"
  • Professor Rattlestein: I'm sorry, Mr. Spooner, but our minds are made up. Good day to you, young man. (The scientists leave)
  • Hank:... Aw, man! I was so close! (Takes his papers and goes out into public, where everyone is disgusted and frightened by his new appearance, including Sandy)... Oh, Sandy! I thought I wouldn't see you here. I just presented a--
  • Sandy: Yeah, I have been watching you work on it before, actually. It did have potential until... Well... You brought a nasty worm into the equation. Those things just make people barf!
  • Hank:... Oh... I am sorry... But, can we still go on that date I've been asking you about?
  • Sandy: Actually... I'm already taken, remember? I'm datin' Dandy.
  • Hank: Dandy?... That cowardly wuss? What's so charming about THAT guy? He's more scared than a little girl with a monster!
  • Sandy: Excuse me? Coward? WUSS?!?
  • Hank:... Did I really say that? Uh, I meant... Uh... A towering bush!
  • Sandy: Don't play dumb, Hank, I know what you said! And even if you DIDN'T say that, I would NEVER go out with you because... Well, LOOK AT YOU! I know people say not to judge someone by looks, but now that you've used infectious creatures on yourself, BLECH, nobody's gonna want to go out with you.
  • Hank:... But... But...
  • Sandy: I'm sorry, but I gotta go. (Leaves)
  • Hank:... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Present

  • Hank:... (Sighs) She was the perfect girl for me. That rough and heavy accent, those glittering brown eyes, those adorable buck-teeth...O HHH, she was worth the introduction. I need to see her again! I'm gonna go to the Dragon Realms right now for a little visit. I'll ask Cadance to take me there. Yeah, then once I see her... I'll be ready to make my move.... (Goes over to the picture, and kisses the spot where Sandy was, and left)...

Chapter 3: Hank Gets Attached to A Certain Squirrel[]

Dragon Temple.

  • Count Razoff was seen failing miserably from the training sessins!
  • Lord Shen: "..... (Sigh).... This guy CLEARLY is gonna be alot of work."
  • Icky: "Who ta funk it we end up having one of the bosses of Rayman 3 Hoodlum Havoc on our team?"
  • Iago: "I'll just say.... This is gonna be interesting."
  • Sandy's voice: "YOU DID WHAT!?"
  • Lord Shen: "Miss Sandra?"

Sandy's room.

  • Sandy: "PRINCESS CANDENCE, HAVE YOU DONE GOT YOUR HORN SCREWED INTO YER BRAIN?! WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO REFORM HANK OF ALL PEOPLE?! HE'S TOO, WACKED OFF, TO BE CURRENTLY HELPED!? HE'S LIKELY MORE INTERESTED TO TURN PEOPLE INTO MUTANTS BEFORE ANYTHING ELSE BECAUSE HE'S HOPELESSLY OBCESSED WITH EXSELLERATING EVOULUION!?"
  • Candence on the communicater: "Sandy, there's actselly more to him. He wasn't just doing it because of just his misguided ideals alone. He had a uncle that never accepted his beliefs in Charles Darwin."
  • Sandy made a surprise face.
  • Sandy: ".... Hank was related to Father Bob Spooner? I, I thought Hank was with a different Spooner family. He never told me about that. I just thought he was just nuts."
  • Candence: "Well now he was nuts for a reason. Besides, I gave him something that's garrintied to make sure he drops his insane views for good. He was very interested to see you for some reason."
  • Sandy: "Me? Princess, did ya do something to him that might have unintended consinquences later down the road? Cause someone like Hank isn't a easy guy to change his way of thinking quickly. You didn't do anything to cut corners, did ya?"
  • Cadance: Well, the last few weeks didn't turn out quite well. So I decided to try out a reforming potion. He seemed to gotten over his uncle issues quite nicely. Sure the others are complaining that he's a little TOO nice, but it's still an improvement. He says that it would be a great idea if the entire monastery spent the night with you and the Lodgers... Just so you can see what he's like.
  • Sandy:... Gee, I dunno! A reforming potion seems a little off, and is probably doomed to be a colossal failure. Do you know the history of that reforming juice?
  • Cadance: Yes. A successor of Star Swirl the Bearded created it as a means to reform his evil friend, and it actually worked. Yet for some reason, nopony else ever used it again. It was probably because of the many reforming spells that have been made throughout the years.
  • Sandy: Well... I don't know if the others will allow that... Especially Lord Shen, he's definitely not the one to agree with these things since he's been having these outbursts. He had another one 5 minutes ago about an accident caused by our new member, Count Razoff, but regardless, I'm sure he won't accept it.
  • ???: Miss Sandra? (The Lodgers appeared, as Lord Shen was the one who talked)... Oh, Princess Cadance. I wasn't expecting you to call. What are you two talking about?
  • Sandy:... You aren't gonna believe this, but... But Cadance has decided to let Hank be an addition to her reforming monastery, and she says that she gave Hank a reforming potion, and Hank wants the entire monastery to spend the night here.
  • Lord Shen:... WHAAAAAAAAAAA?!?
  • Cadance: What's the problem, Shen? Wouldn't a visit be nice?
  • Lord Shen: "LADY CANDENCE, I MEAN NO DISRESPECT TO A RELITIVE OF CELESTIA, BUT YOUR MAKING TOO QUICK OF A JUMP TO TRY AND REFORM HANK?! It's not that he's unreformable, BUT HE'S CURRENTLY DIFFICULT TO TRY NOW?! HE'S STILL BLUNTLY DETERMINED TO TURN PEOPLE INTO MUTANTS FOR A MISGUIDED CAUSE OF BETTERING PEOPLE THROUGH PARASITES!?"
  • Sandy: "Well, he wasn't just doing that for himself! He was trying to prove an awful relijustus uncle wrong!"
  • Spongebob: "Hank had a relijustus uncle?"
  • Icky: "How can that be? I thought Hanky believed in Charles Darwin."
  • Sandy: "Well, yeah, but he had a uncle in the form of a controverseal Priest named Father Bob Spooner. He hated EVERYTHING against religen. He hated the throey of evolution, he hated the LBGT community, he hated science, heck, he even hates tecknowagey! Father Bob was the most backwords frog in the history of texas!"
  • Tigress: "You're saying this preist is the reason why Hank was such a problem to begin with?"
  • Merlin: "Well I have a good mind to give that disgrace to the religen name a good stern talking to!"
  • Sandy: "That's the thing.... Sometime during Hank's exsile to Poi-Son, Father Bob started to prosicute gays and minorities in the name of the devines and was crusifying them. A waiter from Bob's faverite pizza place wanted to protect his lesbian sister from prosicution, so when Bob ordered his faverite usual dish, the waiter.... Laced the pizza with rat poison."
  • The Lougers gasped, as did Candence.
  • Spongebob: ".... And poor Hank doesn't even realise that?"
  • Sandy: "He was exsiled on a swamp planet with only science tec and not entertainment tec. Chances are, he knows nothing of what happened to Father Bob. So, unless it's nessersary, do NOT, tell Hank about it! Not even you Candence!"
  • Candence: "But what if he asks to see his uncle and try to establish a bond with him?"
  • Sandy: "Then just tell him it's better to stay clear from someone respondsable for hurting him to begin with!"
  • Cadance: Well, before we gave him the potion, he was planning on mutating him out of revenge. I'm starting to feel that if that potion fails, then he will go back to that plan again. I feel that you might want to let us come over and give Hank a chance. What do you say?
  • Lord Shen: Never! I smell something fishy in this whole thing. You said Hank asked to see Sandy for some reason. You think there's something he's not sharing with us?
  • Cadance: Oh, he said he wanted to see if you guys would accept him, especially you, Sandy, since you two go way back.
  • Sandy: Yeah, he tried to ask me out right after the presentation that made him... What he was! His ideas were just disgusting. He has always shown a personal desire for me.
  • Cadance: I assure you, Sandy, everything will be okay.
  • Sandy:... Well, if you're sure, then... Then we'll allow it.
  • Lord Shen: Oh, no, we're not! The moment they arrive, something will happen. I just know it!
  • SpongeBob: Shen, please, lighten up for once! Besides, these guys have never had the chance to visit our place. It would be nice to have them around for the night.
  • Lord Shen:...
  • SpongeBob: Please?
  • Lord Shen: (Sighs) Alright, fine! But I'll be watching Hank the whole time he's here!
  • Sandy: "But just to be safe, Candence, has Hank ever acted, strange, since he had the potion? Outside of being overly nice, I mean."
  • Candence: "Well, so far, not really so much really."
  • Lord Shen: "Well check on him if that potion had any untended side-effects you didn't read about!"
  • Candence: "Ok, ok! Wow, this is the first time you guys actselly complained about the monistairy reforming one of your enemies. I figured you guys would be glad Hank would see the error of his ways."
  • Icky: "Well that's the thing. Hank has yet to be given proper realisation about his views being wrong. And since ya reformed the guy by potion, that means all it takes is for him is one mistake, and he gets a nasty relapse. We just think your being too ambitious with Hank here. In fact, why didn't the wardens discourage you from accepting the guy?"
  • Candence: "Well, strangely, they looked as if they were about to, but they looked as if something changed their minds. And that is odd, cause Prison 42 wardens are netouriously stubburn and only bow to the likes of The Galactic federation or the United Universes senate. I guess they got alittle tired of Hank after he gotten trouble with Kung Pow and few other prisoners because of Hank's tendingcy to be... Prevokable."
  • Icky: "Ok, either those guys were malmitulated by a dark force, or the enforcers of the universes really are THAT incompident!"
  • Iago: "Don't take it too personal princess. We have no doubt of your abilities at all! It's just, you still don't have the proper liezencing for it, and we just think that a guy like Hank is.... Not rookie friendly."
  • Candence: "ROOKIE?! This, "Rookie", has managed to keep a known dragon hating viking from bulling the other reformed villains, and I protected former members of a dark conspiracty against Berk from a skelital alicorn and two bickering marrage couples turn heartless. I think I can handle a mutant frog that talks like that rat from Tuff Puppy!"
  • Shifu: "Now, Miss Candence, we mean no disrespect to your abilities, we're just trying to protect you from a broken heart in any event that Hank proves he would not be yet ready for redemption."
  • Lord Shen: Yes. We shall allow this visit, but I advise that we keep an eye on Hank at all costs to see if your potion had any side-effects.
  • Cadance: As you wish. We'll be right there soon.

Later...

  • Hank: (All the Shell Lodgers were looking at him either suspiciously or nervously)... Why are you guys looking at me like that? Are you not happy that I'm ready to re-enter society as a solid citizen?
  • Lord Shen: You're a VILLAIN! And you'll ALWAYS be a villain, you'll NEVER change! And you'll never get away with whatever you're here for!
  • Cadance: Shen, be nice! We asked you to give him a chance.
  • Icky: "Ok, even if it is Hank, that was harsh! He's tecnecally not unreformable, he's just currently difficult to change at the moment!"
  • Grimoors: I sure as hell wouldn't give him a chance after he proved he doesn't know the definition of PERSONAL SPACE!!! (Cadance looked at him angrily)... Sorry.
  • Hank: Look, everyone, I'm reformed. Really. All it took was a bit of mystery juice, and voila, you have a new and less-angry frog.
  • Sandy: That's the thing about potions. They are as unpredictable as magic. I don't know what you're doing this for, but I don't like it.
  • Hank: (Sighs in joy) I'm sure you don't, sweet-cheeks. Uh, I mean, I'm sure you don't. But I promise you things are okay.
  • Sandy: "Did, ya'll just, sighed in joy?"
  • Hank: "No I didn't. That was a sigh of tiredness! It was kinda a long trip to get here."
  • Spongebob wispers: "Heads up Snady, I think he still has the hots for ya."
  • Sandy: (Whispering) Oh, relax, SpongeBob, he knows I'm too good for him. It ain't like his personal desire for me has grown at a crazy level.
  • Cadance: Well, I guess we should make this night count. Let's make ourselves comfortable with all the stuff we brought.

Later...

  • Hank: (While the many people were interacting with each other during their stay, Hank was too busy looking at Sandy, who's body seemed dashing in his eyes)... (Sighs in joy)... What a lady.
  • Lord Shen: Did you say something, Hank?
  • Hank: Uh, I said 'What a day'.
  • Lord Shen:... Yes, it sure has been a day. You haven't done anything sensitive even once.
  • Hank: I told you I was reformed.
  • Lord Shen:... Well... I guess you are. Perhaps it was another one of my anger issues. I guess it's best that we got the place ready for lights out. Are you absolutely sure that you wanna sleep in Sandy's room?
  • Hank: Yes. I'm a little... Uh... Uneasy with sleeping with people that I've been fighting against for years.
  • Lord Shen:... Well, good luck with that. (Leaves, and Hank looks at Sandy one last time)...
  • Hank: (Sighs in joy)...

Later that night, in Sandy's Room...

  • Hank was sneaking in, leaving a bunch of flowers, chocolates, and gifted teddy bears around Sandy's room, and just as quickly he entered the room, he left.

Morning.

  • Sandy was awoke yawning, and saw the gifts.
  • Sandy: "What in tarnation, how in the, who the-"
  • Sandy picks up a note.
  • Sandy: ""One of many gifts by, your secret ad-my-are-or.""
  • Sandy sighed annoyed.
  • Sandy: "There's only one person in the entire universe that misspells admirer. And that would be...... HANK!?"
  • Hank: (Comes inside) I thought you would like it. In fact, this is what I came for. I wanted to ask you... To be my girlfriend.
  • Sandy:... (Her eyes twitch)... Oh, tarnation!... You're serious!
  • Hank: As serious as a heart attack, toots!
  • Sandy: (Sighs) Hank, is this because of the potion that Cadance gave you? I thought it was supposed to use love to... Ohhhhhhh... (Sighs) I need to tell Cadance-
  • Hank: Don't waste your time with her! Let's just sit down and enjoy the time we have left together. I'm DYING to know your secrets!
  • Sandy: Hank, listen, I'm still taken! Sure I broke up with Dandy, but that was so I could focus on my new job as an inventor.
  • Hank: And who else would notice what I know that's very attractive about you like those eyes of yours? Or your strikingly-hot body? Or your incredibly-attractive accent?
  • Sandy:... Okay, now yer' starting to make me uncomfortable. Besides, I think SpongeBob will be a little cheesed off when he sees this. He's got a bit of an attraction to me that I think should be the way it is.
  • Hank: Oh, what has he ever done for you, hmm? Has he given you any gifts? Has he rescued you from danger even once?
  • Sandy: Of course he rescued me once! He did it when we first met. And he's given me PLENTY of gifts. But those are plainly on Valentine's Day.
  • Hank: Oh, come off it, toots, you know you want me!
  • Sandy: No, I don't! And I never did.
  • Hank: Well, we can work things out from there. Just kiss me, and it will all be worth while. (Puckers his lips)
  • Sandy:... (She couldn't help but barf) EW, GROSS, YUCKY, DISGUSTING, A MALFORMED FROG VILLAIN WAS ABOUT TO KISS ME!!... Okay, Hank, this has gone far enough! Your mind is in the wrong path here! Whatever Cadance's potion has done to you, it's gotta stop!
  • Hank: You won't be saying that when I get you those golden acorn earrings you've wanted since you were a teenager.
  • Sandy:... How in the name of Davy Crockett did you know THAT?!?

Cutaway

  • Hank: (He is reading her diary in total darkness with a flashlight) "And when I reached the store, I noticed that it actually had the golden acorn earrings that I've wanted all my life! I thought they were discontinued, yet I was astonished to see that they were still selling. It was just... Just... Amazing!"... Looks like I'll be adding that to my to-do-list.

Present

  • Sandy:... Get out of my room... NOW!
  • Hank: But- (He is then seen getting kicked out by her) OOF!... Oo-ho-ho-ho, I see, playing hard-to-get, huh? Well, at least I got something out of that. (Takes out a pair of her swimsuit) ONE OF HER SWIMSUITS!!
  • Sandy: (From inside) WHAT?!? (Comes out and snatches the swimsuit from him) GIMME THOSE, YOU LITTLE PERVERT!! (Slams the door)
  • Hank:... I'm still not giving up.

Later...

  • Sandy: (With the other Lodgers)... And he straight up told me that he looked in my diary and found out about my thoughts about those golden acorn earrings that I've wanted when I was young. And to top it all off, he totally snagged one of my swimsuits!
  • Cadance:... Wow, I knew he was lovey dovey after the potion, but I didn't thought it would be by THAT much!
  • Lord Shen: HOW COULD YOU MISS OUT THE FACT THAT HANK WOULD DEVELOP A CRUSH ON MISS SANDRA?!?
  • Candence: "Well, the instructions on the potion was very vague! They never said anything about this!"
  • Trixie: "THAT COULD BE BECAUSE THEY WERE MADE AT THE SAME TIME THE POTION WAS!?"
  • Lord Shen: "We need to take that love-starving moron to Twilight and figure out more details about that potion! Now, we need to contain Hank."
  • Squidward: "No need. He's over there bushing himself against Sandy's tail."
  • Squidward was pointing to Hank doing that.
  • Hank: "(Sighs), Your tail reminds me of the most comfertable blanky in the world. SOOOOO soft!"
  • Sandy: Uh... Guys? A little help here!
  • SpongeBob: (Slaps Hank away from Sandy's tail) THAT TAIL IS MINE, DOUCHE BAG!! (Everyone looks at him weird)... Uh... Did I say that out loud? Uh, forget I said that, and let's just contain him.

Temple Dungeon

  • Spyro: (Hank appears inside a cell)... It's a good thing we found a good use for this old dungeon.
  • Lord Shen: Yes, it's, uh, it's the same one I used to contain Santa's elves last Christmas.
  • Hank: GUYS, PLEASE! I don't mean my feelings this way! It's a sign that I've changed!
  • Boss Wolf: SUUUUURE it is, pal!
  • Sandy: Grimoors was right about personal space. That potion has made you too nice, especially for me. You need to learn that I just ain't into you. I've got others that might fit me just right.
  • SpongeBob: Yeah, that's ME and... Uh... Who was the other guy again?
  • Squidward: Tavin? That Tasmanian Tiger in Australia?
  • SpongeBob: Yeah, him!
  • Hank: I thought Tasmanian Tigers were extinct.
  • Sandy: D'OH, never mind! Look, you need to listen to this, and listen good. We are NOT boyfriend and girlfriend, I will NEVER be attracted to you, you're acting like a perverted idiot, and you're gross.... Didn't catch that? Okay, then allow me to repeat myself. (Gets out a high-tech megaphone)
  • Kowalski: Oh, God, not the Hyperphone 3000--
  • Sandy: (In the Hyperphone) WE ARE NOT BOYFRIEND AND GIRLFRIEND... (The Lodgers are aggravated by the loud noise) I WILL NEVER BE ATTRACTED TO YOU, YOU'RE ACTING LIKE A PERVERTED IDIOT, AND YOU'RE GROSS!!! (When she was done, everyone was recovering from the loud noise)
  • Kowalski:... WE GET THAT IT WORKS... ALSO, MY EARDRUMS ARE BLEEDING!!
  • Sandy:... Well, I guess it's time we went to Equestria, and see what we can do with Hank.
  • SpongeBob:... Okay. (They all leave)
  • Hank:... I WON'T be ignored, Sandy!
  • Hank pulls out a nail file and starts to cut away at the bars.

Garage.

  • Candence: "Sandy, I am so sorry about this. That instructions I have didn't warn me about this, I swear."
  • Sandy: Well, I'm actually not THAT angry. You made a mistake, and that's easy to forgive. I just hope Twilight knows a LOT more about this 'Venus Potion' that made Hank a total pervert.
  • Cadance: (As Hank was seen having escaped the dungeon) I sure hope so. She knows more about magic and potions than anypony else. She's pretty much just like Star Swirl the Bearded. (Hank sneaks into the van when nobody was looking)
  • Zach:... Do you think that Star Swirl might just be an ancestor of Twilight?
  • Cadance: Oh, no. Celestia and I do genealogical research on a few ponies, and Star Swirl's descendants... Well... Are not as much into magic as he was. I think Twilight is one of the few that were inspired by his work.
  • Zach: Gotcha.
  • Banzai: Well, I guess our van is refueled now. Let's roll out and get to Equestria. (They go into the van, and blast off into space, going into hyperdrive along the way)

Ponyville

  • Twilight: (The van has landed right next to her castle, and while the Lodgers were exiting the van, Hank was able to sneak out while they weren't looking) So, you reformed Hank through a Venus Potion, and he ended up falling in love with Sandy?
  • Cadance: Yes. The book didn't say anything about that side-effect.
  • Twilight:... Well, I think I know a book inside the castle that has some info on that potion that I think you might need. Come inside. (They do that, and while they were inside, Hank was waiting for a chance to do something, chuckling in joy)

Twilight's Castle

  • Twilight: (Spike hands her a book with a potions symbol on it) Thanks, Spike. Is THIS the book you used, Cadance?
  • Cadance: Of course. I looked inside the book, and no side-effects of the potion were listed.
  • Twilight: Well, let's take a look, and see where you went wrong. (Flips through the book)... Ah, here it is. "The Venus Potion, created by the successor of Star Swirl the Bearded, Gleam Star. He had created this potion in an attempt to cure his friend, the notorious spell thief Tricky Hooves, from his crazy obsession with stealing advanced spells. It was a great success, yet Tricky had to face some time in prison for 5 years. But ever since the many reforming spells that have been created by Gleam's descendants, the potion has never been used again."
  • Cadance: So... Is there anything about the potion?
  • Twilight:... Hmm... Did you catch THIS page? (Shows her the page)
  • Cadance: (Reads the page)... Huh... No, I didn't. That page must've been missing.
  • Dr. Wazabi: (Takes out the book)... Sure was. (Shows her that the page was torn out)
  • Cadance:... How did THAT happen?
  • Dr. Wazabi: Well, isn't this book from the Golden Oak Library? The page must've been burned out when Tirek destroyed the library.
  • Cadance: (Sighs) Well, no WONDER Hank is like this!
  • Twilight: (Reading the page) "Warning: If not stirred with a pegasi feather in the right number of times, side effects may include an emotional relapse in the brain that will result in varying emotional responses such as sensual or lustful actions."
  • Cadance: Oh dear.... That page would've solved everything if it was there. Dr. Wazabi, are you sure you stirred the potion 3 times like the instructions said?
  • Dr. Wazabi: Well, I don't have much experience in chemical sciences, so I didn't know how to stir a potion properly. I didn't know if it was either 3 or 4 stirs.
  • Icky: Let me guess, it was 4?
  • Dr. Wazabi: It looks that way, yes.
  • Sandy: (Sighs) Well, I'M in for an epic stir in the Alamo today.
  • Twilight: Hold on, I think there's something in the book that can be useful. (Reading the book) "The potion is only affective unless something comes along that breaks it down such as a broken heart. If a reformed drinker's loved one is with another person, for example, the heart-breaking effect will cause the potion's effects to wear off."
  • Cadance: (Looks horrified) ... You're saying that we have to somehow break Hank's heart in order to get him back to normal?
  • Twilight: Yes. It might mean that he'll go back to evil again, so no luck there.
  • Candence: "But, I'm the Alicorn of love! I don't do heartbreak! And if Hank goes back to being evil, it would harm my chances of getting a lizence to reform villains!"
  • Twilight: "I was afraid of that."
  • Icky: "Ok, Candy, what's more impourent? Your reputation, or Sandy never having to sleep with eyes open to look out for pervy mutant frogs?"
  • Candence: "Look, the potion is only gonna last a week anyway! We'll just simply keep Hank away from Sandy!"
  • Crane: "Nothing stops love. Neither true love, or un-true love like Hank can be halted by temporary solutions like just keeping them seperated. You should know that yourself."
  • Lord Shen: "Honestly, is reforming this hopeless idiot more impourent then Sandy's well-being?"
  • Candence: "HE'S NOT HOPELESS! IT WAS MY OWN FAULT TRYING TO CUT CORNERS WITH HIM!? He just needs more understanding, and less actcess to the lab until he knows better!"
  • SpongeBob: (While nobody was noticing Sandy being nabbed by Hank quietly) He'll find a way around that, you know! He's a genius when it comes to getting what he wants.
  • Cadance: Look, we're only gonna wait a week on this, and that's final! Both my reputation and Sandy's well-being are equally important to me, and the only way we can do it right without affect neither is to... Uh... Where's Sandy?
  • Melman: Sandy? She's right... (They discover her to be gone)... Sandy? Where was she? She was right behind us!
  • Skipper: (Sees some slime on the ground) Kowalski, what do you make of this stuff?
  • Kowalski: Uh... Inconclusive, it could be some gelatin, or-
  • Skipper: EEHH, wrong! Try frog secretion! Seriously, Kowalski, you're supposed to be a genius, and you can't even tell what frog secretion AND snake skin are just by looking at it?
  • Kowalski: NOBODY'S PERFECT, OKAY?!?
  • SpongeBob: Well, Cadance, looks like Hank's got Sandy now. You thinking about waiting for the potion to wear off anymore?
  • Cadance:... (Sighs)... Well, there goes my career!
  • Lord Shen: We need to find out where they went.
  • Private: Uh, guys? Why is our van starting up? (They see the van taking off)
  • Hank: (He is seen out the window) SEE YOU LATER, SUCKERS!! (The van takes off as the back of the van has the painted words 'Just loving a squirrel' on it, and the van takes off)
  • SpongeBob:... AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! (Goes insane, scraping his butt on the ground, then tears a piece of the ground out, and begins eating the worms inside as everyone gasps)
  • Twilight: ".... I am DEFFINENTLY NOT GONNA TELL FLUTTERSHY ABOUT THAT?!"
  • Spongebob: WE'VE GOT TO GET THAT VAN BACK!!!
  • Twilight: And the van is going too fast by now, so it's not safe to teleport it here.
  • Lord Shen: "Worry not! We just need to figure out where they are headed and intersept them there."
  • Boss Wolf: "But where would those two go!?"
  • Patrick: "Hey guys, I found a piece of paper that saids "Step one, snag sexy squirl mama, step two, take her back to Texas, step three, get privately married, step four, undesided, and step 5, buy a baby car-rage". Does this mean anything?"
  • Squidward: (Sighs) It means Hank's taking Sandy to her hometown to have a private marriage, and... Did he say 'buy a baby carriage'? Is he trying to insinuate that... OH, GOD!! OH, F****** GOD, NO!! WHY THE F*** WOULD HE PUT THAT THING IN MY BRAIN?!?
  • Mr. Krabs: Relax, Mr. Squidward, I'm sure he means they'll ADOPT a child. Surely he wouldn't mean... (Reads smaller words on the note, and takes out his glasses)... OH, HE MEANS IT ALRIGHT!!
  • Icky: Hey, what couple WOULDN'T wanna do it?
  • Iago: A couple that's just a kidnapper and his hostage, that's what!
  • SpongeBob: Then I guess it's back to Texas. Now how do we get there without a vehicle?
  • Cadance: Well, I sort've left my personal ship back in the Dragon Realms, so no luck there.
  • Skipper: WHY THE HELL DIDN'T YOU SAY SOMETHING ABOUT THAT BEFORE?!?
  • Cadance: Hey, I forgot, okay?
  • Twilight: Relax, Celestia and Luna perfected the world teleportation travel spell, remember? As of the 4th of July situation? Allow me. (Takes deep breath, and tries using her spell, and is able to teleport the entire group away)

Dragon Temple

  • Twilight: (They are all teleported there) No thanks are nessersary.
  • Shenzi: Way to go, Twilight!
  • SpongeBob: Alright. Let's get out water helmets and get this rescue mission started.

Chapter 4: Hank's Private Southern Marriage and Honeymoon[]

A deserted church.

  • Hank was seen in a nice suit and Sandy in a wedding dress, as the "wedding" was over-seen by a hobo.
  • Hobo: "Uh.... We garthered here today to..... Uh..... Too....... Uh...... Say, mister, what're we doing again?"
  • Hank sighed.
  • Hank: "Your blessing the wedding of Hank Spooner and Sandra Cheeks, you hobo!"
  • Hobo: "Oh, ok. By the power vesten in, this abandonned church, I pronounce ya as uh.... Uh.... Chickmonk and Salamander. Ya got change?"
  • Hank: "I'm a frog and she's a squirl, genius! And here's a dollar for your service."
  • Hank pays the Hobo.
  • Hobo: "Aw sweet! Just 89 more dollars to go and I can afford a beer!"
  • The Hobo runs off!
  • Hank: "Now, Sandy, let us ki-"
  • Hank sees Sandy running away!
  • Hank: "HEY!? DON'T LEAVE ME AT THE ALTER!?"

Outside.

  • Sandy was running in the texas desert sand, but was admitly intersepted by Hank in the van!
  • Hank: "SANDY, PELASE! GIVE US A CHANCE?!"
  • Sandy screams and runs another direction!

A long chase later.

  • The Van was seen flying around.
  • Sandy was hiding in a hole.
  • Sandy: "No problem. I just need to avoid Hank for an entire week. No pressure. I'm fine as long as this hole ain't a home for a dangerious critter."
  • A growl was heard.
  • More growling was heard.
  • Sandy turned around and sees an angry family of coyotes approuching her.
  • Sandy: "Aw, nuts. BACK OFF, I KNOW KARATE!?"
  • Sandy was doing some karate poses!
  • The Coyotes look distressed and started to back off.
  • Sandy: "Ha, I knew that would get ya'll to back off."
  • ???: "Oh it's not YOU theys afraid of."
  • Sandy slowly looks behind her to see a huge mutanted Scorpian Monster.
  • Sandy screams as the Scorpian Monster grabbed her.
  • The Van appears.
  • Hank: "There you are Sandy! I sent my new friend Mega-Claw to get ya."
  • Sandy: "HANK, I THOUGHT THAT POTION WAS SUPPOSE TO KEEP YA FROM MAKING MUTANTS?!"
  • Hank: "I gotten desperate, ok? Look, I promise Mega-Claw's a one time thing, ok? Now, how's about we spend a our honey moon at the funfair today! Come on Mega-Claw, let's go."
  • Mega-Claw: "Sure thing, bossman."
  • Mega-Claw climbs on the van as it flies off and heading torwords the funfair.

Later...

  • Cadance: (They fly next to a large treehouse in her personal carrier) Are you sure this is where you said Sandy's family was?
  • SpongeBob: Yeah. While we were on that mission to Sandy's high-school reunion, before we left, she showed me her family's house. I'm sure they can give us some clues as to where Sandy and Hank are.
  • ???: DAG NABBIT, WHAT'S ALL THAT LOUD NOISE?!? (Sandy's Pa comes out with a shotgun) I SWEAR TO ALL THAT'S HOLY THAT I'LL SHOOT DOWN THE FIRST VARMINT THAT... Uh...
  • Sandy's Ma: (Comes out) Uh... Manny, what is THAT?!?
  • Sandy's Pa: Seems like aliens are tryin' to steal our roadrunners again!
  • Roadrunners: (They appear as actual roadrunners that are imitating the Looney Tunes Roadrunner) MEEP MEEP!!! (They zoom off)
  • Sandy's Pa: AW, DOGGONE IT, THEY SCARED OFF SKIPPY, FAIRCHILD, AND FAUST!!! THAT DOES IT, I'M GOIN' INTO THAT SHIP, AND SHOOTIN' EVERY DAMN ALIEN INSIDE!!
  • Randy: (Appears with a Twilight doll with kiss marks on it) Ma, Pa, what's going on out here... Wait, what is that?
  • SpongeBob: (They come out) HELLO THERE, CHEEKS FAMILY- (He is soon shot at and dodges it) WHOA!!! HE'S GOT A GUN!!! EVERYONE BACK INSIDE!!!
  • Sandy's Pa: Wait, is that Sandy's sweetheart?
  • Randy: AND HE'S WITH MORE PONIES?!?
  • Twilight: (Seeing Randy, and remembers his crush on her)... Uh-oh! (Hides in the ship)
  • Icky: "HEY DON'T SHOOT AT US, YA ASSHOLE!?"
  • Sandy's Pa: "Hey, no reason for ya to snap at me, boy! It was because ya'll weren't in that fancy smancy van you had! I thought ya'll were aliens.... Well, in a different catagory that is."
  • Icky: "Well, that kinda can't be helped on account of HANK STEALING OUR VAN AND TAKING SANDY WITH HIM!?"
  • Randy: "HANK!? But I thought he was locked up good in that Prison 42 place!"
  • Sandy's Pa: "How in the Sam Hill did that galoot get out?!"
  • Candence: "Uh..."

An explanation later...

  • Sandy's Pa: YOU USED A POTION THAT GOT HANK TO FALL IN LOVE WITH OUR DAUGHTER?!? WHAT THE HELL KIND OF REFORMING EXPERT ARE YOU?!?
  • Sandy's Ma: Now, now, Manny, calm down. I'm sure that potions in the ponies' world are always gonna have problems with magic. Just ask our son.
  • Randy: Yeah, of course they do. So, are there any other ponies in that ship of yours?
  • Patrick: Well, Twilight's here and... Where is she?
  • Randy: TWILIGHT IS HERE?!? OH, GOD, I'VE BEEN WANTIN' TO SEE HER SINCE YOUR LAST VISIT!! TWILIGHT!! (Runs into the ship)
  • Twilight: YIPE!!! GET AWAY, GET AWAY!!!
  • Spike: Patrick, did you HAVE to tell him that Twilight was here? Don't you remember Randy has a crush on Twilight?
  • Patrick:... Sorry.
  • Cadance:... Well, Hank and Sandy aren't the only ones who have a love problem.
  • SpongeBob: Do you guys know where Hank could take Sandy by any chance?
  • Sandy's Ma: (As Twilight's screams were heard in the background) Well, there is one place I know where he could take her. Lovers usually take their soul mates to the underground Gopher Gold World Funfair because... You know, bein' underground makes privacy for make-outs MUCH easier.
  • Sandy's Pa: Me and Audrey went there when we was kids. Had a HELL of a good time. We proposed our marriage there right in our favorite casino after I won-
  • Sandy's Ma: Uh, hon, I don't think they care about our honeymoon right now, I think they care more about that nonsensical honeymoon that our daughter is bein' forced through.
  • Sandy's Pa: Oh... Well, in that case, I can take y'all there. But I should warn you that gettin' inside don't come cheap, even for you heroes. And we both know how AGGRESSIVE those gophers are when they order some payment.
  • SpongeBob: Well, okay, let's go.
  • Sandy's Pa: Though... I need a little something in return. Nothin' personal, it's just... You scared off our roadrunners, which are our only means of transport across this frontier.
  • Brandy: You, have, got, to, be, kidding!
  • Sandy's Ma: Please? Do you know how long it took us to find our roadrunners the last time they were scared off?
  • Shifu: Well, we are heroes. It'd be nice to do some good folk a favor.
  • Skipper: (Sighs) Fine! We'll find your little chickens for you. Which way did they go?
  • Sandy's Pa: THAT way, over to Dead Man's Caves. Roadrunners there are lucky enough to avoid all the predators in there, but for us rodents, especially those of us who aren't as in shape as we were when we were younger, it's a HUUUUUUUUUGE pain!
  • Cadance: Oh, we don't HAVE to chase after them. (Teleports them right back)
  • Roadrunners: MEEP MEEP!
  • Sandy's Pa: Well, how do you like that, Audrey? They actually saved us the trouble of going in there.
  • Sandy's Ma: Well, okay, I guess we can help ya'.
  • Twilight: (Crawling right up to the door of the ship with kiss marks on her face) HELLO, AREN'T YOU GUYS GONNA HELP ME?!? (She is pulled back in by Randy) AAAA-HA-HA!!
  • Spike: (Scoffs) I hate to say it, but that's the funniest thing I've ever seen happen to Twilight. (Everyone laughs a bit)

Later...

  • SpongeBob: (They all fly in the ship) Are we there yet?
  • Patrick: I have to go to the bathroom!
  • SpongeBob: Are we there yet?
  • Patrick: I have to go to the bathroom!
  • SpongeBob: Are we there yet-
  • Sandy's Pa/Mr. Dodo/Lord Shen: WE JUST LEFT!!!
  • Sandy's Pa: Sheesh, how could Sandy STAND someone as annoying as you?
  • Squidward: We all get used to it.... Except me.

The Funfair.

  • An admissions stand was seen.
  • A shadow looms over the Admissions, as a Gopher stares in shock.
  • Hank: "Three tickets to the funfair please.... And make them cheap, or my friend gets rough."
  • Mega-Claw: "I want to go to the funfairs. NOW?!"
  • Gopher: "..... That'll only be a penny."
  • Hank gives a penny.
  • Hank: "Thank you."
  • Three tickets are given.
  • Hank: "Come on, Mega-Claw, we having fun."
  • Mega-Claw: "Oh boy."
  • Sandy: "Mister, I'm so sorry about this, I'm not usually with them, I'm being held against my will and-"
  • Mega-Claw grabs Snady and walks off with Sandy.
  • Gopher: "..... I am so fired."

In the funfair.

  • Hank and Sandy were riding the teacup rides as Mega-Claw was giggling like an idiot in another!

Another ride.

  • The Roller Coaster was struggling to move because of Mega-Claw.
  • Mega-Claw: "WEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
  • Hank: ".... Don't think I thought this through."

Funhouse.

  • All the funhouse mirrors were broken.
  • Mega-Claw: "Sorry for all the mirrors, boss."
  • Hank: "Ah, if they can't appresiate the appearence of a mutant, then screw these mirrors."

Snack bar.

  • Hank: "Isn't this great Sandy? All these snack foods to ourselves! Thanks to Mega-Claw."
  • The Snack Clerk gophers were giving an intimidating Mega-Claw free snacks.
  • Sandy: "DAG NABBIT HANK!? THIS ISN'T WHAT REFORM PEOPLE DO!? I MEAN, WHY IS THAT SCORPIAN STILL A MUTANT WHEN YA'LL ONLY NEEDED HIM FER FINDING ME?!"
  • Hank: "Oh, he's also our bodyguard. Just in case trouble arises."
  • Sandy sighed.
  • Sandy: "... Hank, listen. Candence told me about yer uncle problems. I know you were a victim of abuse of a family member. Ever since Stephen, I learnt that nobody is evil without a reason... Well, almost nobody. Hank, I know that your not thinking straight. So, if ya'll do love me, ya'll would let me go. I have someone who cares for me already, and-"
  • ???: "THERES THEY ARES?!"
  • A Boss Gopher with two Bearded dragon goons are seen.
  • Boss Gopher: "You three losers have 4 seconds to get out of my funfair, or I'll sic my boys on ya?"
  • Hank: "Oh, I think you mean, (pulls out the mutanting gun from Sandy's Mad High-School Reunion) MY BOYS?!"
  • Hank mutants the Bearded Dragon goons into mutanted Bearded dragons!
  • The two roar!
  • Hanks: "I'll call you guys, The Beardy bros! Bready Bros, eat your former boss!"
  • The Beardy Bros look menacingly hungry at the Gopher Boss.
  • Gopher Boss: "WAIT, STOP, I SIGN YOUR PAYCHECKS?! NO, NO, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-"
  • The Beardy Bros began ripping the Gopher Boss apart!
  • Sandy: "OH MY GOSH, HANK?! ARE YOU SERIOUS?! AND HOW DO YOU STILL HAVE THAT GUN QUI GAVE YA?!"
  • Hank: "Oh, it's not the original one. I learned to recreate it thanks to me being smart with Wazabi's stuff. Pretty neat huh? Why else isn't Mega-Claw talking like a zombie? I loved this thing ever since Qui gave me the original one."
  • Sandy: "DAG NABBIT?! WHAT ABOUT YOUR PROMISE OF NOT MAKING MORE MUTANTS?!"
  • Hank: "I did it in self-defence, Sandy! That guy was threatening us!"
  • Sandy: (Shrugs) For God's sake, Hank, how many people are you gonna chase out just to make this relationship count? I DO NOT LOVE YOU!! I NEVER LOVED YOU!!
  • Hank: Oh, stop it, sweetie!
  • Sandy: DO NOT CALL ME 'SWEETIE'!!! EITHER LET ME GO, OR I'M LEAVING ON MY OWN!!
  • Hank: Oh, well, I know something that will cheer you up. (Takes out a small package, and opens it up to show some golden earrings shaped like acorns)
  • Sandy:... Really?... You got me those things?
  • Hank:... I was expecting more of a surprised look.
  • Sandy: No, Hank! You're wasting your time with this! I'm leaving, and I'm gonna set things right by undoing what you did! (Snatches the mutating gun, and fires it at Mega-Claw and the mutated Bearded Dragons, changing them back to normal)...
  • Hank: NOOOO!!!
  • Sandy: Yes! I'm leaving this place, and I'm gonna make sure that you pay for these crimes you committed, alone if I have to!
  • Hank: But, but, but, but- (Suddenly, a familiar trumpet playing was heard as the heroes arrived)
  • Sandy's Pa: SANDY!!
  • Sandy: MA?!? PA?!? RANDY?!?
  • Twilight: (As she was being kissed in the face by Randy) Please don't remind me he's here!
  • SpongeBob: Give her back, Hank! Look at all the damage you've done to this place!
  • Sandy's Pa: I sure hope they didn't get the casino. (They see that the casino crumbles to the ground)... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
  • Hank: Oh, are these your parents?
  • Sandy: Wouldn't YOU like to know?
  • Hank: (To Sandy's Ma and Pa) Well, it is a true honor to meet you two. I must say, I never thought that your blended DNA would create something THIS beautiful. (Kisses Sandy's Ma's hand)
  • Sandy's Ma: Uh... I don't know if I should be delighted by his surprisingly well-behavied demeanor, or disgusted that I was kissed by a mutant frog in the hand.
  • Sandy: "Hank, you met my parents before when you teamed up with Qui to come after me, remember?"
  • Hank: "Oh yeah. Look about that, that was back when I-"
  • Sandy's Pa: (Grabs Hank by the neck of his shirt) ALRIGHT, YOU LITTLE S***-STAIN, WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE KIDNAPPIN' OUR LITTLE GIRL JUST TO GO ON A FORCED HONEYMOON?!?
  • Hank: Whoa, whoa, Mr. Cheeks, there's no need for violence! I just said that your daughter was beautiful. And I must say, she and her brother look exactly alike!
  • Randy: We're twins, thank you very much.
  • Hank: Oh, right.
  • SpongeBob: Hank, I'm afraid we're gonna have to turn you in again after what you did to this funfair!
  • Sandy's Ma: And, I don't think the Sheriff will like what you've done to the owner of this place. And we all know how incredibly stern THAT raccoon is.
  • Hank:... No! I won't let you all get in the way of our relationship! (Takes Sandy and holds her on his shoulders)
  • Sandy: HEY, LEMME GO! HELP!! (They run out of the area, and fly the van out of there)
  • Sandy's Pa:... Wow, it must be a real pain to have your vehicle taken by lovers, huh?
  • Sam/Max: You have NO idea!
  • Spike: We gotta follow them!

Chapter 5: The Rescue[]

Later...

  • Cadance: (As they fly in her ship, she is seen crying softly)
  • The Reformed Villains see her.
  • Jing Du: "..... Maybe I should comfert her."
  • Ann-Tena: "I'll help."
  • Jung-Du and Ann-tena approuched Candence.
  • Jing Du: "Candence Sweetie, what's wrong? Tell Mama Jingy everything."
  • Ann-Tena: "Candence, I don't like to see you crying. Not after all the good things you did for me."
  • Cadance: Oh, I'm fine, it's just... I made a huge mistake trying to tackle Hank too soon when he was still... Hard to manage. I should've known that this would happen.
  • Jing Du: Hey, stop blaming yourself for this, you didn't know that the book you used to make that potion was damaged.
  • Cadance: But... But what will happen to my monastery if we get through this? People are gonna go crazy when they find out I did this. I'll lose everything! Maybe even my husband!
  • Ann-Tena: Oh, come on, Cadance! If he's your husband, he'll understand. And... If the monastery does get closed down because of this... Then we'll be right there beside you when it happens.
  • Cadance:...*Sniff*... You really mean it?
  • Jing Du: Of course we do. The important thing now is that we stop Hank before he does anymore harm.
  • Cadance: But... But how am I supposed to do something I'm against?
  • Icky: Oh, uh, Cadance?... About that... I think SpongeBob has an idea.
  • Cadance: What is it? (Icky whispers something in her ear)... You serious?
  • Icky: Yeah. He's gonna use the same strategy that Sam used to snap Danny Phantom out of his trance while confronting Ember.
  • Cadance:... That's.... Actually not a bad idea.
  • Ryan: What? What is he gonna do?
  • Icky:... You'll see when we get there.
  • Cadance: Question... Do you think SpongeBob's gonna do this because it's the best chance we've got... Or because he's always wanted to do it?
  • Icky: I think both. Now it's best we got ready for the rescue.
  • Kowalski: It's a good thing that we still have our trusty van alarm! (Presses the button)
  • Van Alarm: OVER HERE, MISFITS! OVER HERE, MISFITS!
  • Sam: I'm starting to question how it can be heard this far.
  • Alex: Dodo, full speed ahead! (They blast off in the ship)

Meanwhile...

  • Hank: (They are near the shore of a bay) Ahh, sweet Trinity Bay. This was my parents' favorite place to go when they were just beginning to walk. In fact, it's where they first met. And it's also where we'll make our greatest memory together.
  • Sandy: (With an aggravated expression) Yeah, I HAVE been here before! It's where Cowfish Craig lived before moving to the Pacific Ocean, but whatever!
  • Hank: Say... Why don't we make this our BEST night ever, if you know what I'm saying.
  • Sandy: (Surprised)... Uh... I don't know what you're- OOH, GOD!! (Hank is seen taking his shirt off) YOU LOOK LIKE A TUMOR WITHOUT YOUR SHIRT ON!!! OH, GOD, DID YOUR UNCLE BEAT YOU THAT MUCH?!?
  • Hank: Oh, shut up, and take off your clothes!
  • Sandy: NEVER!! I WILL NOT- (Hank takes her shirt off as she was seen in her upper swimsuit) OKAY, I'M OUT OF HERE!! (Tries running away, but Hank pulls her right back with his long sticky tongue)
  • Hank: Where are you going, babe? No ones' wanna see you without a shirt on, right?
  • Sandy: LET GO OF ME!! I AM NOT GONNA MAKE OUT WITH YOU- (Suddenly, her pants are removed revealing the rest of her swimsuit) OKAY, SOMEONE PLEASE DON'T LOOK AT US!! PLEASE, GIVE ME A DEUS EX MACHINA OR SOMETHING!!
  • Hank: Alright, baby, let's do this! (Puckers his lips)
  • Sandy:... (The camera shows a view from the sky) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!
  • SpongeBob: (They all hear her screams from in the sky) OH, GOD, THAT DOESN'T SOUND GOOD!! WE NEED TO GET THIS PLAN READY AND FAST!!
  • Sandy's Ma: That sounded like it came from Point Barrow right next to Trinity Bay.
  • Sandy's Pa: (Gasps)... Point Barrow?!? ISN'T THAT WHERE ANIMALS GO TO MAKE OUT AND STUFF?!? PLEASE TELL ME IT'S NOT!!!
  • Sandy's Ma: It is.
  • Sandy's Pa:... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
  • Mr. Dodo: Looks like we need to pick up the pace. (They put the ship to full throttle)
  • Sandy: GET AWAY, GET AWAY, GET AWAY!!!
  • Hank: C'mon, toots! You know you want it!
  • Sandy: (Screams until the ship appears)
  • Hank: AW, COME ON, I WAS JUST GETTING STARTED!!!
  • Skipper: Oh, God, he already did it!
  • Count Razoff:... DAMN! What a body!
  • Lord Shen: (Looks angrily at him)
  • Count Razoff: Sorry.
  • SpongeBob: (Jumps out of the ship) Alright, Hank! This is far enough!
  • Hank: "Why can't you guys understand us!? Better yet, why don't ya leave us alone?!"
  • Candence: "Hank, it's all my fault. I gave you a faulty potion from a damaged book. It was given an incorrect amount of stirs."
  • Hank: "Hey it worked good enough. I'm in love with Sandy."
  • Candence: "Hank please, that's what's faulty about it! You were suppose to retain good behavior by having a newly gained positive view on life! I ended up entrusting someone not very good at potion making with the sters!"
  • Zuthron: "Ya know in hindsight, I was the one good at making potions. I don't just do powders."
  • Candence: "See?! Zuthron was the one who knew how to do potions! Hank, please! What're your doing isn't good! Please!"
  • Hank looked as if he fucked up.
  • Hank: ".... My gosh..... I screwed up.... Candy, I'm sorry. I.... I don't know what I'm thinking. My brain dome ain't screwed on right. I really mean it. Sometimes the stupid thing gets loose."
  • Candence: ".... Hank, thank you for listening."
  • Hank: "Maybe your right.... Maybe I should've better controled myself. Sandy, I wanna apologies for my bad behavior, I really wanna make this up to you and-"
  • Hank gasped as he saw Spongebob romanticly kissing Sandy on the lips while his helmet was off.
  • Candence: "(Gasp)! Oh no....."
  • Icky: "Ohhhhh, bad timing zone over here."

Chapter 6: Hank's Heart is Broken[]

  • Hank's heart sank.
  • Spongebob was done kissing as he put his water helmet back on.
  • Spongebob: "There, mission accomplish.... And DAMN, was it worth it!"
  • Candence: "SPONGEBOB, WHAT'VE YOU DONE?! I MANAGED TO CONVINCE HANK OUT OF LOVING SANDY ON HIS OWN?!"
  • Spongebob: "You did? I thought you was just distracting him while I..... Oops."
  • Sandy: "Oops is right, SpongeBob!"
  • Hank gotten the weird colors in reverse and gained a new stomich ache.
  • Hank: ".... Sandy..... Why?"
  • Spongebob: "..... Hank, I'm so sorry. I didn't know all this time it just took Candence to talk you out of it. Please, I only did it to snapped out of it."
  • Hank began to give out small tears.
  • Suddenly, dark, sad music played as Hank began to feel dark again.
10_-_Anakin's_Dark_Deeds_-_Revenge_Of_The_Sith_Soundtrack

10 - Anakin's Dark Deeds - Revenge Of The Sith Soundtrack

  • Hank: "You..... You ruined my hope of happiness?! Your.... YOUR JUST LIKE MY UNCLE!? I may not want Sandy as a girlfriend anymore, but, I could've at least have her, as a friend, after at least, ONE, AWKWORD KISS?! I NEVER GOT TO KISS A GIRL!? I just, wanted to be loved....."
  • Hank brings out the golden acorns in brief sadness.
  • Hank tosses them into the ground in anger and stomped on them, even though it didn't destroyed them as it more like shoved them abit into the sand.
  • Hank pulled out his mutanting gun!
  • The Music gets more darker as Hank began to mutante crabs, seagulls, and seaweed into mutanted monsters!
  • Squidward: "I think breaking Hank's heart has turned out to be a very bad idea!?"
  • Hank: "MUTANTS?! COME WITH ME, AND TOGATHER, WE SHALL RANSACK ALL OF TEXAS, SO WE CAN DESTROY MY STUPID UNCLE?!"
  • Hank laughed maniacly as he walked with his new mutant army.
  • Candence fell down, and began to cry.
  • Sandy looked at the golden acorns. Sandy shed a small tear.
  • Sandy made a determined face, and knew what to do.
  • Sandy: "HANK DARWIN SPOONER?!"
  • Hank looked angerly and feeling betrayed as the mutants looked with confusion and aggetation!
  • Sandy: "..... I have something to tell you about your uncle...."
  • Hank: "What?! That he's a total dweeb who hated Charles Darwin?! He's a total loser?! HE'S SOMEONE WHO NEVER LOVED ME?! CAUSE I DON'T THINK THERE'S ANYTHING I DON'T KNOW ABOUT HIM!?"
  • Sandy: He's dead!
  • Hank: (Surprised)... What?
  • Sandy: He died following your banishment! You see... He went to a restaurant where a waiter brother of a lesbian girl had worked, and in order to protect her... He put rat poison in his dish.
  • Hank:... Someone... POISONED HIM?!?
  • Sandy: Yeah, I mean, sure, that poor guy was arrested for murder, but at least he wasn't sent to jail for life. He took full respondsability for his actions and kept everyone from blaming his sister over it. You should be happy that Father Bob got what was coming to him long before any of this happened.
  • Hank:.. No.... I..... I never got to prove him wrong. HE ENDED UP DYING HATING ME!?
  • Hank fell down and cried!
  • Icky: "..... Wow, kinda thought he was gonna go over-board here."
  • Iago: "Yeah. Ya think he would seriously hate his uncle."
  • Hank: "ALCHOURSE I HATED HIM, YOU DWEEBS!? It's just.... Because mom was a business woman and dad a convinence clerk, Uncle Bob was the one who raised me! I, I do have memories of him actselly liking me!? HE WAS ONLY ABUSIVE BECAUSE I STARTED TO LIKE CHARLES DARWIN!? It was awful, but he, he only hated Darwin cause he thinks the throey of evolution is just a crackpot throey!? He thinks we were created by the devines! I was trying to prove him wrong!?"
  • Hank cried!
  • Shifu: ".... Hank, tecnecally, both the throey of evolution, and your uncle's beliefs, are both correct."
  • Hank: "Wha?"
  • Shifu: "Well, you see, while it is true the devines are capable to make an intelligent being in minutes, it wouldn't feel the same as suppose to make something capable to grow, to be nurtured, to learn and want to learn. So, they created a great force, called the masters of evolution. Beings and creatures, respondsable for all the changes every creature, even humans, have gone through, and in due time, are still going through."
  • Hank: ".... If, that's true, why didn't Charles or Uncle Bob thought of that?"
  • Shifu: "Charles Darwin and your uncle are mortals, Hank. They like to believe that only one of these two are correct. It is part of the mortal need to want to find answers in our existence. Some want to believe we are meant for a higher purpose, like your uncle, while others believe we are but another result of evoulionry success, like Charles. Neither are incorrect, but both have only known half of one great truth."
  • Hank: "So... The Devines invented evoulion?"
  • Shifu: "Yes. They created it cause they ddin't wanted to be lazy and just automaticly created smart beings."
  • Hank: "...... Now I feel really stupid.... I REALLY WAS PLAYING GOD?! And wow, I kinda sucked at it."
  • Candence was surprised by Hank being talked down again.
  • Hank: "..... Candy.... I'm sorry.... For realzies this time."
  • Silence.
  • Hank: ".... Oh, no surprise there. You most likely hate me now, like everyone I ever-"
  • Candence grabbed and hugged Hank!
  • Everyone, even the mutants: "Awwwwwwww."
  • Candence: ".... Thank you Hank. That's what I needed to hear from you."
  • Hank: "..... Thanks Candy.... Can we go back home now? I wanna see the coconuts again."
  • Candence: "..... You bet. After you turn those mutants back to normal."
  • Hank: "Do I have to? They're so cooler this way!"
  • Candence frowned.
  • Hank: "Ok, ok!"
  • Hank fired the mutanting gun and changed the mutants back to normal.
  • Sandy picks up the golden acorn ear rings.
  • Sandy: "To prove no hard feelings Hank. I'll accept your gift."
  • Lord Shen: ".... Well I'll be. I guess the frog can change after all."
  • ???: "OH, BARF?!"
  • Everyone gasps as they look to see a raged out Senator Tri-Corn and some personal bodyguards.
  • Senator Tri-Corn: "THAT, FREAK, IS NOTHING BUT A MENACE TO SOCITY?! AND TOO DANGERIOUS TO BE KEPT ALIVE?! I AM ENDING HIM NOW?!"
  • Hank: "WHOA, WHOA, WAIT?! COOL IT! I learnt my lesson now, and I'll take full respondability and-"
  • Tri-Corn grabbed Hank by the neck, and Tri-Corn grabbed the brain dome, and destroyed it!
  • Hank: "AHHHHHHH!? NO, MY BRAIN NEEDS THAT!?"
  • Tri-Corn: "WHY DID YOU THINK I DESTROYED IT, YOU MONSTER CREATING GOD-WANNA-BE RETARD?!"
  • Candence: "TRI-CORN NO?! YOU'LL KILL HIM?!"
  • Tri-Corn: "THAT'S THE GENERAL IDEA, YOU DUMB PINK HORSE!? AFTER THIS, I WILL CLOSE DOWN THAT STUPID MONISTAIRY AND SEND YOUR COLELCTION OF VILLAINS BACK WHERE THEY BELONG?! TO JAIL?!"
  • Candence: "NO?! I WON'T LET YOU DO THIS?!"
  • Tri-Corn: "What're you gonna do to me? Your just a namby pamby pony princess!?"
  • Tri-Corn and the bodyguards started to laugh almost evily as Hank was started to get weaker.
  • Hank: "(Weaken) Candy.... Help, me....."
  • Cadance: (Magically repaired the brain case) TRICORN, WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!? YOU JUST TRIED TO COMMIT A MURDER!!!
  • Tricorn: It's NOT a murder in this case. It's EXECUTION! (Smashes the brain case again)
  • Cadance: You know it's still murder no matter what he's done, Tricorn! (Repairs the brain case)
  • Tricorn: Well, he deserves to die! The Sheriff of the animal community of Houston informed me of EVERYTHING Hank has done to this great town! He is a menace, and the UUniverses are better off without him! (Smashes the brain case)
  • Cadance: NOBODY DESERVES TO DIE FOR THEIR ACTIONS, TRICORN!! YOU'RE BEING THE MONSTER YOU'RE REGRETTING TO BECOME!! (Repairs the brain case)
  • Tricorn: WILL YOU STOP FIXING THAT THING AND LET ME DO MY JOB?!? (Smashes the brain case)
  • Cadance: HOW ABOUT YOU STOP SMASHING THE THING AND STOP ACTING LIKE A COMPLETE JERK!! (Repairs the brain case, then the two smash and fix the brain case over and over)
  • Sandy: (Sighs) BOTH OF YOU, STOP THIS RIGHT NOW!!
  • Tricorn: (The two face her) Oh, for heaven's sakes, Ms. Cheeks, cover yourself! Who wants to see you in a two-piece?
  • Icky: Oh, I know someone who does. (Shenzi slaps him) OW! WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR?!?
  • Sandy: Tricorn, why must you constantly come into situations when you ain't needed? All you do is just false justice! Hank doesn't deserve to die because of property damage.
  • Tricorn: HE MURDERED THE OWNER OF A FUNFAIR!!
  • Sandy: Does THAT call for murdering HIM? I'm sure the Sheriff wouldn't agree with you doing this.
  • ???: And I certainly do not! (A raccoon in cowboy/cop attire appeared)
  • Sandy's Ma/Pa: SHERRIFF CONCORD?!?
  • Sandy: Wait, HE'S the new Sheriff now? Wow, was I missing out on a LOT while I was gone. He must be doin' as well as his father did.
  • Sheriff Raccoon (Concord): Yes, and the first thing I want to say is that Ms. Cheeks cover herself.
  • Sandy: Uh, yes, sir! (Grabs the clothes that Hank took off of her)
  • Concord: Secondly, Tricorn, Ms. Cheeks here is right! I never said that you could kill him instead of sending him back to Prison 42 where he belongs.
  • Cadance: Wait... He can't come back to the monastery?
  • Tricorn: OF COURSE HE CAN'T! NOT EVEN IF I DON'T KILL HIM, BECAUSE I'M GOING TO SHUT DOWN YOUR LITTLE CRIB!!
  • ???: No, you are not! (The High Council appeared)
  • Spyro: Wait, what are YOU guys doing here?
  • Ignitus: We saw your dilemma in the Pool of Visions, and we knew you needed help. Tricorn, you continue to abuse your power by attempting to murder a criminal, AND selfishly trying to shut down a reforming monastery that only made a mistake they weren't in control of.
  • Tricorn: Then what do you suggest we do with him?
  • Concord: Well, the law simply cannot be ignored. Murder and property damage calls for imprisonment.
  • Cadance:... But... But he's changed!
  • Concord: I know it hurts, Mrs. Armor, but laws are laws. People's deaths simply cannot be allowed to go unanswered.
  • Sandy: (After putting the clothes back on) Ignitus, are you really willing to agree with this? Cadance worked hard to reform Hank.
  • Ignitus: ".... I'm sorry. But please know, it's also for his own protection, thanks to Tri-Corn's bad habit of not being, so understanding."
  • Candence looks at resentment to Tri-Corn.
  • Candence: "..... THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT, YOU, YOU, HARD-HEADED CYBERNETED TYRANT?!"
  • Candence fired a beam at Tricorn's face and blasted off the organic portion!?
  • Tri-Corn screams in pain, dropping Hank!
  • Tri-Corn: "MY FACE?! THE ONLY PART OF MY FACE STILL ORGANIC?! (CRIES!?)"
  • The Bodyguards drag her away!
  • Concord: ".... Lucky for you, Princess. I saw that as fitting justice. So for your sake, I'll ignor the assult on a Universeal Senator."
  • Ignitus: "And we'll suspend Tri-Corn's powers so she can't attempt to get revenge, at least until she finally gets over the latest upset."
  • Candence fell down crying.
  • Candence: "Hank..... I'm so sorry...."
  • Hank only looked away.

Later.

  • Candence was in the Monistairy again.
  • Ann-Tena and Jing-Du came in.
  • Ann-Tena: ".... Candence? I know someday, you'll be given another chance to reform Hank. His new controversey won't last forever."
  • Jing Du: "Alchourse. You can always try again."
  • Candence: ".... I failed him.... I failed Hank..... And I attacked a powerful senator!? I ruined that poor idiotic tyrant's face!? EVEN MORE THEN THE DEVIL COBRA?! I turned into Sombra?! I'M A MONSTER!?"
  • Jing Du: Oh, will you PLEASE stop blaming yourself? It's not YOUR fault, you gave that bitch a piece of your mind. And... Sure, she'll have to have some more cybernetic fixings, but she'll certainly think twice before coming at a bad time again.
  • Cadance:... You know... You may be right... But I still lost my chance to reform Hank thanks to her.
  • Ann-Tena: I'm sure something will come up, your highness. He'll be free for you to try again within the next few years.
  • Cadance:... Yeah, you're right. I guess I can try again some other time. I just hope he'll cope with being with Kung-Pow again.

Prison 42

  • Hank: GO F*** YOURSELF, LIZARD!! (Kung-Pow and he get into another fight until the robot guards zap and separate them) YOU ARE THE ABSOLUTE WORST PRISONER HERE!!!
  • Kung-Pow: Thank you! I live for the rage of my peers?!
  • Hank: (Growls, and tries to attack him, but the guards pin him down)
  • Batula and Anima, surprisingly, looked on sadly.
  • Batula: "I envy dear Hank. He was more closer to be redeemed then I can ever be."
  • Anima: "Tell me about it. Ever since I finally exspearienced what it is like to have fun, I gotten tired of being a shadow demon. Espeically since I no longer just say Anima all the damn time anymore. Do you think the Pink Alicorn would ever come for us?"
  • Batula: "Well, ever since I discovered that my previously uncurable corruption has started to surprisingly die out when I discover the friendship, I have started to realise I was just a doofensmoodle! Espeically your sad story that you were from a long family of war-mongering emperor penguins and anxity drove you to appease the family name to the point of insanity!"
  • Anima: "Yes, and becoming a soul hungry demon is not currently helping. But oddly enough, being friends with you and Hank has started to, ease that abit. I never exspearience friendship in my youth all those many years ago because my father forbade it."
  • Batula: "You mean your papa was against it?"
  • Anima: "Oh yeah, that comes with the terroratory of being from a warmonger family."
  • Batula: "Well, I hope Hank will be alright at the least."
  • Hank was seen crying abit as he was dragged away by the robots.

Epilogue[]

Dragon Temple, Sandy's Room

  • Sandy: (Holding the golden acorn earrings as she sighs)...
  • SpongeBob: Hey, Sandy? Can I come in?
  • Sandy: Oh, of course. Come on in.
  • SpongeBob: (He comes in)... You still thinking about Hank?
  • Sandy: Yeah. It was sure pretty lousy Hank still got the worse of it. I mean, I know Hank did ended up causing serious damage, the death of someone, and kidnapping a hero against her will, but he wasn't able to realise what he was doing until it was too late. Not that I now love him or anything, he was still an idiot about all this, it's just... Well... Since you kissed me, things went pretty downhill immediately.
  • SpongeBob: Sandy, I-
  • Sandy: No, no, it's alright, SpongeBob. You didn't know Cadance would be able to fix it herself. But I have to admit, despite the craziness, I did have a bit of fun with Hank. Sure I didn't like how he was holding me against my will and I ain't so fond of what happened to that funfair owner, but the danger and the adrenaline rush made me feel young again.
  • SpongeBob:... What a strange thing to confess about.
  • Sandy: Besides, did you do that kiss because you wanted to?
  • SpongeBob: Well... It's mostly 50/50. I mainly did it as part of the plan to snap Hank out of it... Ya know, back when I thought reason was out of the question.
  • Sandy: Yeah, sure you did. But at least you watched over me, and that's something that I can count on. Thanks. (Hugs SpongeBob)
  • SpongeBob:... (Kisses Sandy on the lips again)
  • Sandy: SPONGEBOB, REALLY?!?
  • SpongeBob: Sorry, it was just so enjoyable!
  • Sandy:... (Laughs) Well, just promise me you won't do it again. Let's just go for cheek kisses from now on.
  • SpongeBob: Well, it is near the lips, and is just as enjoyable, so okay.

Skullian Prime

  • Architect: (Sees everything through the magic portal) Admitingly, that could've gone, better.
  • Titan on the TV: Tells me about it. At least it made Shen even madder.
  • Architect: Oh yes, at least this plan was a success in it's original intention. I feel Dark Shen's presence getting closer by the minute. I'd estimate that it will start taking it's toll in 2 days time.
  • Titan: Oh yes siry, boss. One thing, kinda still concerns me over here. Cobra said that it is pretty dangerous, even for villains.
  • Architect: Luckly, if that were to be so, at least the Lougers would be the first causalties. Besides, I'll gain quick control of that Peacock soon enough.
  • Titan: You sure that thing can actselly even make a DENT on those clowns?
  • Architect: To my admited concern, I am not exactly sure about. As a Darkspawn lord, I find it foolish to underestimate the potential that these very heroes possess. They have managed to defeat Dark Cynder, they survived many of Mirage's cleverist scemes, they even shamed the once great Zuthron.... Espeically when it turned out that he was a pasifist. Ugh. That was always a problem turning mortals into demons. You'll never know who might turn out to not be worthy of the asendtion.
  • Titan: "I see. Then I'm keeping the bar low. I won't be expecting Dark Shen to do TOO well."
  • Architect: "But let us be optimistic at the same time. After all... Anything a threat to villains, likely means a deadly dishastor awaits for all heroes."
  • Another Vision of Dark Shen is seen.

Fin....?

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