The rough seas of Planet Yortex. Usually a very peaceful neightberhood for a planet of perpetual oceans, but it had an unfortunate past. It was once home of a very infamous govermental leader by the name of Sir B.S. Yertle, who, to put it nicely, had the mannorisums of that one guy who gave ya trouble in the lunchroom. Cause of Yertle's infamy, well, to be blunt, when the self-rightious idiot got killed, it wasn't exactly a day of tragity to much of everyone. And because of him not even being in good ties with the police, nor also the fact that any and all evidence has been throughly cleaned out, it ended up being the one case people won't lose sleep about it being colder then the core of Oranos. Well, try saying that to someone who still believes in justice for all.... And that someone, is me. Name's Detective Hardson Case, the best cyborg detective in the business. And people can say what they want about me trying to bring justice to someone some would argue doesn't deserve any. I believe that justice shouldn't turn a blind eye to anyone a victim of crime, even if they weren't exactly the kindest of souls. Yertle could've turned out to be a demon-worshiping neo-nazi with pedophilic tendingcies and could be respondsable for the worst crimes in history, heck, he could even be a VA Secret Founder, and in my eyes, he'd still deserved to be given proper justice and have his murderor punished like any more desireable person would've get. Ignoring the law for even understandable reasons is no excuse defying the very thing that seperates civilisation from wild animals and tribesmen. Without law, there'd only be chaos. But I have a greater reason why I'm tackling the Yertle case. His own wife, now a widow by tecnecallity, turned out to not have really hated Yertle in the grand sceame. Yes, he grew unbearable, but poor Widow Mayamayo Gingeris still had a heart for the known idiot, and she couldn't make peace with the fact that she wasn't there for him in his hour of need, and was actselly sicken that he was left to rot in an indigifived mannor as suppose to a proper burial, so she wanted me to put his soul to rest by busting his conspiractors. But, admitingly, I know this is something that even with my skills, is not a standalone deal. And would you believe the coinidenceal luck that the Grand Council has sent the Lougers and the HA to be my only friends in the world too strongly against one victim of a still heinious crime because of what he was in life? Apart from the HA not exactly admiting a nicer viewing on Yertle, and, to be honest, even I can't exactly read how the Lougers behaive, I had a feeling this was the start of a beautiful friendship. Only time will tell if the Lougers and the HA can really help me in getting the one who done, as I intent on sloving the infamously cold "Yertle Case."
Arrest of Cahl and Gimfry
- Hardson: (He came in)... Gentlemen, do you have a moment?
- Gimfry: Oh, sure, Officer Hardson Core.
- Hardson:... You see... I gained THIS! (He showed recorded evidence of the two of them planning the murder of B.S. Yertle)... It's clear you were trying to get me to abandon the investigation. But investigation is simply unavoidable. You're both under arrest for the murder of B.S. Yertle.
- Cahl: (They were thrown in his police vehicle) BUT WE'RE INNOCENT!
- Hardson: That's not what the evidence says. (He plays it again)
- Gimfry: That info was sabotaged!
- Hardson: We checked the authenticity. It's clean.
- Cahl:.... Look, please, we know it does not nessersarly paint us in a better light, and I won't say I'll hold it against you if you judge us, but please at least hear us out-
- Hardson: You have the right to remain silent! (He activated the muting in the containment cell as he drove off)
- Gimfry: Sir, you are making a big mistake!
- Hardson: Oh, I'M making a mistake for enforcing the law?
- Cahl: Wait, he didn't meant it like THAT?! You're making a mistake by trusting something you said was aquired in an empty room. I admit, it's true, we had a hand in this. But, regardless, none of us liked B.S! We were just doing what was best-...... Okay, admitingly poor choice of words, but again, we know it was not the best ever answer, but, we had our reasonings!
- Hardson: Well you just contridicted your claims of that you were doing the greater good when you admited that you know it was wrong, yet do it anyway. B.S. Yertle could've also been a demon worshiping Nazi Pedophilic Domestic Abuser, and it would've still be better to have his fate desided by the court of the law! Murder is not the way to do something best.
- Cahl: You CLEARLY don't know what B.S. Yertle was like! He was a big fat scumbag. He deserved what he got- Uh, I mean, that is to say, we exhausted any other method to correct that attatude of his, and-
- Hardson: You don't get to decide that! I won't pretend to not understand that maybe the Late Ex-Governor Yertle wasn't a fine exsample of the Yertle family, but that don't mean it gives you the right to act no less differently then wild animals and tribals! Laws are the only thing that seperates us from their wild way of life. What you did was against the law. It doesn't, shouldn't, and wouldn't matter what he's done, IT'S STILL MURDER!
- Gimfry: And don't get us wrong, we understand that completely! But please, hear us out! He was, well, an unideal Yertle to say the least! I had to send one of my relatives to indentured servitude since he cost me much of my family's insurance.
- Cahl: He got me rendered into a heart transplant, and he put his own personal problems above my own. I nearly died THREE times that day, and in one of those times, he threw a synthehol bottle at Gimfry! He even stubbornly got me in a dysfunctional relationship with my girlfriend by saying I had to learn to be more responsible as I forgot my pencil.
- Gimfry: He expects ME, as his butler, TO DO ALL THINGS THAT INVOLVE CHORES! He even refuses to clean his OWN messes. I mean, okay, I realise that the idea of me being a butler is that I clean up any and all messes, and in hindsight, maybe I am being too hard on him to an extent, BUT STILL! It would've been nice if he cut me some SLACK even if it's only once a year?! But what I got from instead? He threatened to fire me for telling him to take responsibility. It's like his job is to do nothing while the others do the dirty work.
- Cahl: And don't dare write us off as selfish brats who may've not appresiated hard work! We good sir are far from that! I tried to respect him as much as I could. But his abuse could only be taken for so long. We had an intervention to ask him to take responsibility, but he steadfastly and deliberately refused. He did it so disgustingly THOROUGHLY! And he fired us for persisting.
- Gimfry: And you know what hurt the worst? We intended to make a campaign on the OmniNet to have him impeached as he was just all too good a hiding his true nature....
- (Gimfry): And we were THIS close! However, as usual, he was way ahead of us.
- B.S. Yertle: AHEM! (Cahl and Gimfry was shocked at his appearance)... What, do you gentlemen think, you are doing?
- Cahl: Uh... Playing a computer game?
- B.S Yertle:... You do know I have access to the views of the screen of the computers of ALL my employees, right? You're intending to make me look bad.
- Cahl: "No-no, we were actselly-"
- Gimfry: Well, you've had it coming anyway!
- Cahl: DAMN IT GIMFRY, HAVE A SENSE OF TACT?!
- Gimfry: Cahl, we CANNOT act like cowards around him! It's time we grew balls and did what we should've done a long time ago! With this evidence we have against you, we're going to report you, and you can kiss your position goodbye!
- B.S. Yertle:...... (Laughs) Go ahead, then! You CLEARLY forget that I have a security wipe. It will delete anything that isn't under my authorization and passcode. Failure to comply results in it being declared spam.
- Gimfry: HAH! We have the passcode! (He enters it)
- Computer: Access denied! Spam detected! (The alarm was raised)
- B.S. Yertle:... Did you really think I was STUPID enough to not change my passcode? (They were arrested by security bots)
- Cahl: "(To Gimfry) (Sarcasticly) Time to grow some balls, you say? We can expose him with evidence, you say! (STERNLY AND ANGERLY) THIS IS WHY THERE'S AN IMPOURENCE TO TACT, IDIOT?!"
- Gimfry: YOU BASTARD! WE WILL ENSURE YOU PAY FOR THIS! WE'RE GONNA TELL EVERYONE!
- Cahl: "ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME GIMFRY?!"
- B.S. Yertle: (Laughs!) Is that right? Who's gonna believe you? After they hear you committed sabotage and trespassed on government property, they'll just judge you as renegades and charge you with treason. You'll be just another addition to those before you who tried to betray me. (They were taken away)
- Gimfry:... So if legal action was never going to work, what choice did we have? We did what we had to do as the government was better off without him!
- Hardson: He also could've been a molester of rare animals and serves Goon-Goons into soups, and it still would've been better to get Higher Athorities involved then what you two KNOWINGLY, WILLINGLY, AND DELIBERATELY CHOOSE INSTEAD! It's still against the law, and that's the end of it.
- Cahl: "(Sighs)..... Your right. We were not being any more superior then the Late B.S. Yertle for what we did. We accept that our actions are wrong and-"
- Gimfry: You are so pathetic!
- Cahl: "GIMFRY?! DAMN IT MAN?! HAVE, SOME, TACT?!"
- Gimfry: And go to jail for what was the right thing?! THEN SCREW TACT?! And YOU, hard-head?! You call yourself the BEST law enforcer in the AUU? Well I say poppycock to that! Besides, even if we and a 3rd guy, of which whom we're protecting his identity from, DIDN'T help in putting him out of his misery, what were we supposed to do?
- Hardson: Nothing.
- Gimfry:... (Scoffs and laughs hysterically) No, seriously, what exactly do we do?
- Hardson:... I told you, nothing.
- Gimfry: (Laughs)
- Hardson: I'M SERIOUS!!
- Gimfry: No you aren't! I mean, you're in this position and job for a reason, so again, I ask, what were we supposed to do?
- Hardson:... Speaking for my true position and job, I, say, NOTHING! If he can't be stopped, then that least you people could've done is leave the Late Yertle to be punished by someone smarter and better then him.
- Cahl: Wait, are, are you basicly suggesting we just, ignor him?
- Hardson: Sometimes, the best way to deal with trouble-makers, is to not entertain them and indulge them, because all that does, will only succeed to empower them to make your lives worse. He couldn't always remain hiding this abuse. If you weren't the only ones he abused, then he would've had a rebellion on his shoulders already. And like I said, someone who was smarter then him could've found ways around him and stop him the moral way. That way, no one had to die for anything, and you two dispicable scoundrels would've had your astro-cake and eat it too, and the poor Widow wouldn't've lost her lover. He was gonna get his just desserts eventually, and you decided to listen to this 3rd party of your conspiracty. Even Grutts would look down on you two.
- Cahl: Sir, we know, but, what else we were to do? We had no other allies then the 3rd party!
- Hardson:... Except the others who were also wronged by him. You could've just asked THEM for help.
- Cahl: "And, and, we were going to! But, the 3rd Party insisted that he had a stronger plan!"
- Hardson: "Well that's the thing, fellas. Did it ever accure to you that B.S. may have a reason behind his abuse? The Widow told me herself..... You see, he suffered from a hereditary dementsia in his family where any member that has it, goes through exactly what B.S. Yertle went through. The older he gets, the worser the condition. That means, the poor fool's actions were not entirely his own, as he only fell victim to a family problem. The Widow understood this. She only devorced him to avoid his unpleasentness marring the memories of a formerly kind B.S. Yertle."
- Cahl: "....... You mean..... The Yertle Dementsia syndrone? But, why isn't the modern Yertle this, awful?!"
- Hardson: "It can skip a generation or so. Unfortunately, The Late Yertle ended up being the generation to get it. That means you chuckle-heads murdered someone only a victim of a serious mental condition! That makes it a hate-crime against the mentally ill if people realised this! And trust me, it doesn't end well to those who harm the mentally sick. And if you nitwits thought B.S. was bad? Try sharing the same space of the most deadly prisoners of Oranos if it becames bad enough in the eyes of the court! And trust me. The Judge of the planet who takes murder cases, has an autistic child. He does NOT take kindly to monsters like you hurting the mentally challnaged for ANY reason, even if they're flimsy justifications like because he wasn't KIND to you! Well, as far as I would like to admit.... Maybe you two DESERVED your abuse. The Universe knew you two were born killers and placed you with poor B.S. to proved it so it can make you two suffer?!"
- Cahl: (The two were shocked at this realization, as Cahl started to cry like a baby.)... I... We've WASTED OUR LIVES!! (Cries)!? MOMMY?! MOMMY?! FORGIVE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE?! (Cries as he leans onto Gimfry's shoulder who comferts him....)
- Gimfry:... Okay, fine! You got us! What we did to B.S. was wrong, even if he was a waste of space! We admit it! We admit guilty?! We confess?! But please, we're only co-conspiracters! We're too gutless to end B.S. ourselves! Heck, we're too afraid of any assassin who would do it for us! The real mastermind is out there! Please, we'll agree to testify against him and expose his heinious nature, just, promise us we're left out of any suffering!? Please?! We're just two abused souls who didn't know what to DOOOOOO?! We didn't know about the Yertle dementsia?! We're sooooooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr-he-he-he-he-heeyyyyyyyyyyyy?! (Cries with Cahl as well)!
- Hardson: Okay you cry-babies, calm down, calm down! (Cahl and Gimfry stopped).... I'll see if I can negosiate with the judge to give you two firm but fair sentences in return for testamony against the 3rd party. Also..... To be honest, this was part of my investigation. I brought you in because I knew you two were too incompetent to murder him yourselves, and you did admit your too easily intimdated to confront assassins. I brought you here in hopes that it could lure the real culprit out.
- Cahl:... How could you possibly-
- Qlarra: Elementary. We kinda have to admit that the recording, though still true, was cleverly edited to make it look like it was just you two bozos. Heck, even this planted evidence of your words used among the best privacy settings on it to prevent it from being cracked. Even I had trouble doing it. It'll take me time to finally decode it and expose your boss, who I assume wasn't really your true friend if all things considered. According to your permanent records, well..... You know the weapons you gained from that someone? Yeah, the weapons were outlawed. It was easy to deduce that you two were set up so that when the true culprit was in danger, you two would easily take the blame.
- Hardson: THEEEEN it hit me that it WAS doctored up to frame you. As for the calls and your attempts to steer me off-
- Cahl: Let me guess. Since we're 'incompetent' even to trying to pose as this culprit threatening to kill you if you didn't back down, you suspected we were truly connected, and you later deduced that by seeing how truly 'incomptent' we were, you had to use us in some CRAZY way to prove that we're just co-conspirators who were hooked in?
- Qlarra: Well, that, and you guys have been known to be quite comical when you're scared. With all the things I heard in the background of your call. The fact that you couldn't afford a disguised voice because of your low income and cheaply tried to fake it... Yeah.
- Cahl:... (The two chuckled crazily) Oh, thank God! You really ARE the best law enforcer in the AUU.
- Hardson: Don't thank me yet, clowns. Your still guilty of parpisipating in a conspiracty.
- Cahl and Gimfry frowned.
- Gimfry: ".... Well, he's not, wrong."
- Cahl: "Oh shut up and get some tact, idiot."
- Gimfry: "Look, again, we'll testify the fuck out of that traitor?! It's just, until he's caught, we can't prematurely expose him, because, well, he-"
- Hardson: "Threatened to have you morons dead if you vratted him out?"
- Cahl: "Among those lines. Is, it possable if we remain anomamous until the courtdate and be under a protection of some kind?"
- Hardson: "Oh boy. Based on what you said, then this sounds like a case even I can't work alone. I can't nessersarly offer 24-7 protection, and I can't say Witness Protection programs are always relieable, espeically since you two are also suspects of conspiracty to murder. But I have a strong dedution that I know folks who can offer that kind of protection. I'll report certain infomation to the chief and convince him to get some extra speical forces involved in this. Because if I can safely guess based on what you said, the 3rd party sounds like a dangeriously clever son of a bitch. I thank you gentlemen for your time, and the fellas here will keep you company until the speical forces arrive."
- Harson leaves as two cop-bots escourted Cahl and Gimfry.
- (Hardson): "As I left Cahl and Gimfry in capable hands, I know exactly the kind of people unafraid to get their toes wet to reveil truths even in the most controverseal of subjects. Thing is, I had two concerns. Convincing the Chief to okay it without him being concerned that I may be starting to lose my touch, and how am I to cope with these speical forces tendingcy to be.... Unconventional. We'll, you'll find out soon enough, as I can safely guess you know EXACTLY who they are."